Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.

I learned something about myself last night that I hadn't realized until just that moment.

I am so different now.

I think I felt it. Things that used to drive me crazy just fall off my back, I am not afraid to ask hard questions.... or to hear hard answers and for the first time in a very long time.... I am... I am whole.
When that thought hit my heart I cried. Was I finally really happy! Can you cry and be happy all in the same moment? After everything I realized that what matters most to me is who I am to myself, to my kids, and to the rest of my family.

So, healing is possible.

My strength is still new and I am sure it will be tested... over and over, but I am at peace.
I am looking forward to doing some temple work for my Mom. I know she has watched this journey from her place on high, scared, if that's a possible feeling you can have where she is, and I know she has worried. I look forward to feeling her presence and in reassuring her that I am okay.

You're probably wondering how I know I am finally there. It's just a feeling you have inside. There will still be setbacks I am sure. I am just not afraid of them anymore. There is still residual effects of the years of abuse I went through but thy are recognized and admitted but never excused, just worked through.

So here's where I get to what I am on about.

Thank-you, all of you, you have made this journey easier than it would have been without you.

You all know who you are.

I am changing the sub title of my blog. I am no longer on the edge but solidly on the Terra Firma. Welcome to the last 10 yards and to being at peace. Always.