"Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become."
~ C.S.Lewis
I was on Facebook today. Yes; I am that up to date with culture I have a Facebook page, and someone had posted a note on literature and reading. The list had 150 of the worlds best novels and you had to asterisk which ones you had read. I was not tagged in the note so I felt it wrong to copy and paste it to my page but as I ran down the list it became apparent that I am, shall we say, well read. The sadness though, I read all of them or shall I say most, while I was a Lit major in university.
I felt robbed in university when I would start a class and the reading list was given and I knew that I would have to read the 16-20 books in the 16 week semester and I knew that I would be reading for interpretation and papers and not really enjoying the books. For that reason, much of the books that really hit me, I have gone back throughout my life and read again, some, over and over again, like Pride and Prejudice or Watership Down.
I am not an intellectual but words are so important. I had a dream once where in it I was in a world where books weren't allowed. Where reading was forbidden. My heart ached and I was shouting at the top of my lungs to the injustice. A world without words would be a very lost civilization.
So, what have all these words done for me. I can't help but think that the words have opened the world to me. That in reading I've learned more of human nature and the destiny of mankind. I have no special interest in any particular genre. I love Jane Austin's world as equally as the intrigue of Dan Brown's. I have read almost every Newberry Winner and Honor book from it's inception to 2005. Might I suggest that "Around the World in 80 Days" or "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn" will give you insight into living and dreaming and maybe understand people and the hopes that take them beyond their own worlds.
I am not a literary snob, nor am I driven by the latest craze, though I admire what Oprah has done for the publishing world and her choices are often demanding. I have tried to teach my children that reading can and will make them better people. And for those who wonder, scriptures are important but not everything. A balance is essential in a world that requires it.
What am I on about?
I delved into CS Lewis a few years back. I had read, a few times, the "Chronicles of Narnia", even reading them aloud to my son. I wanted to understand the man so I read "Mere Christianity" and found in it the story of conversion and finding faith. It came at the most opportune time and encouraged me to find placement for my own beliefs. Yeah, I know, not a Deseret Publication, but it gave me hope in a religion I was struggling with. Now I know, this is my interpretation, and that what I extracted may not have been the same as another but what I did gain was for my understanding and from my experience that I brought to it.
I went through a time when my eyesight wasn't great. My vision had doubled and the words were nearly impossible to read. I used to sit and look at the novels and books at the side of my bed and I have never been as afraid as the thought that these words would be lost to me. In the tests they found the reason and the problem is temporary and comes and goes but in the moments when I thought the words would be lost forever I felt hollow and empty.
As I look now over the thousands of books and novels and words they have all left an imprint on me that helps me to grow in the world I live. I look forward to the many more books, essays, papers and poems that will cross my path and change me to being an even better and more enlightened person.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
"Most of us serve our ideals by fits and starts. The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication."
Cecil B. DeMille
If you look at life as one continual long endurance marathon and that with each new year another mile is added can you ascertain where you are in that race now? If you had known, earlier on, that it was such a race, would you have trained harder or differently? I was thinking about this the other day and wondered, is this all really worth it in the end? What’s the reward?
And why, after so many years does your outlook on life change so dramatically?
I remember being a young mom and thinking how life was just beginning and how scared I was about the world and what was out there for my kids. I was concerned for their health and well being and it never occurred to me that I would be or that they would be where they are now. Oh sure, K1 was always going to be a dancer, no doubt, and K2, was destined for the life she is living, K3 and D are still young and making decisions but my life as it is has become so much different than what I had expected it would be and the funny thing is, I am not disappointed at all in the outcome. Sad, maybe but overall very content and sure that this is the path I was supposed to take.
So what am I on about?
If you could do it all over again would you change anything if you had the chance?
I just finished reading the most amazing book called, "Mutant Message from Forever" by Marlo Morgan. What an amazing book. It follows the lives of twin "Lost Generation" aboriginal children from their birth to their eventual reconnection and how their lives, though on very similar paths, diverged completely different. What fascinated me the most was the direction supposed good intentioned, well meaning religious people took and how little those intentions serviced the needs of the children themselves.
The book speaks to the difference between observation and judgment. It gave me a perspective I hadn’t thought of before. When one judges he/she places an onus on him/herself that requires forgiveness. The two go hand in hand. In contrast, when one observes they are allowing the "freedom" given by the "oneness" to proceed on their own chosen Spiritual path which leaves it’s direction at the judgment of "One".
It was enlightening to think that by simply observing and offering no conclusion or thought that you can have ultimate freedom. It gives each of us the God given right to exercise the Plan and the freedom of judgment from others while we do it. It’s a profound concept and when exercised, very liberating. I have tried to look at my surroundings from this point of view and I can already feel the burdens lifting. Letting go of the whys and simply living in the "now" is still very much in keeping with the doctrines I have learned to love my whole life. The system is set up for those with the authority to judge and even then, issues may arise. Heaven knows I understand that and when I spend my time in the frustration of it. I lose.
Looking at it through observation you are able to see the benefits of life and the blessings you have. The aboriginal people gave thanks for all things throughout the entire day from the rain falling to the wildlife offered up for sustenance. If we all simply lived a life of gratitude and observance, the turmoil of past burdens would lessen and healing would accelerate. It would make for a very full and rewarding life.
I have often wondered if in these native religions, the basics remain pure and intact and understanding them can bring us closer to where we need to be.
I love the gospel so much and I am continually astounded at, when lived purely, the answers to most of life’s difficult questions can be found. The culture has interrupted the basics and moving beyond it and looking deep you can see the goodness that resides within.
My Non Member friends often say that "you’re nothing like most Mormon’s I know; you don’t think you are better than us". When I first heard this I would get so sad, is that really the message we send out there? I think that in the excitement of what we have we sometimes forget the feelings of others.
I’ve stopped starting and stopping and now I move through my life. If by observing others I lose the judgment and I can also then lose the comparison I will steadily move through to a positive conclusion in the end.
My Mom could do this so well. She had five very completely different kids and she was able to make us all feel as if we were the most special without putting one ahead of the other by virtue of what we were accomplishing. It seemed as if she knew our very souls and celebrated the differences. She was very much an observer.
I may never be a leader again or deemed an important person in my spiritual culture by I will be an observer and a contributor which in the end, I think is what is expected. I spent so much of my time before in the who’s of the culture and changing that to the living of it, just for me, has become very rewarding and an inspiring journey. Here’s the catch though. I don’t think this is as much about an AHA moment as it is about the cycle of maturing and living. When you think of all the experiences, both good and bad, that I have lived through how can you not grow? It just seems logical.
What’s sad is that because I belong to a culture that devalues a person because of divorce my experiences are never truly shared as a way for others to grow or for that matter, the vise versa. I have a very good Bishop though who just called a single divorced woman as the RS president. A is amazing and is already proving that her experiences have made her an incredible woman to hold that calling and to have the compassion required for all the sisters in the organization. Thank goodness for a forward thinking man who can get past the culture and hear the whisperings of guidance so that all can be considered and that life’s experiences don’t limit future experiences.
I like the straight and narrow of my winding path. I love that not everyone’s path is the same. Thank goodness because sameness is simply boring and I doubt anyone would ever descried me as boring.
Cecil B. DeMille
If you look at life as one continual long endurance marathon and that with each new year another mile is added can you ascertain where you are in that race now? If you had known, earlier on, that it was such a race, would you have trained harder or differently? I was thinking about this the other day and wondered, is this all really worth it in the end? What’s the reward?
And why, after so many years does your outlook on life change so dramatically?
I remember being a young mom and thinking how life was just beginning and how scared I was about the world and what was out there for my kids. I was concerned for their health and well being and it never occurred to me that I would be or that they would be where they are now. Oh sure, K1 was always going to be a dancer, no doubt, and K2, was destined for the life she is living, K3 and D are still young and making decisions but my life as it is has become so much different than what I had expected it would be and the funny thing is, I am not disappointed at all in the outcome. Sad, maybe but overall very content and sure that this is the path I was supposed to take.
So what am I on about?
If you could do it all over again would you change anything if you had the chance?
I just finished reading the most amazing book called, "Mutant Message from Forever" by Marlo Morgan. What an amazing book. It follows the lives of twin "Lost Generation" aboriginal children from their birth to their eventual reconnection and how their lives, though on very similar paths, diverged completely different. What fascinated me the most was the direction supposed good intentioned, well meaning religious people took and how little those intentions serviced the needs of the children themselves.
The book speaks to the difference between observation and judgment. It gave me a perspective I hadn’t thought of before. When one judges he/she places an onus on him/herself that requires forgiveness. The two go hand in hand. In contrast, when one observes they are allowing the "freedom" given by the "oneness" to proceed on their own chosen Spiritual path which leaves it’s direction at the judgment of "One".
It was enlightening to think that by simply observing and offering no conclusion or thought that you can have ultimate freedom. It gives each of us the God given right to exercise the Plan and the freedom of judgment from others while we do it. It’s a profound concept and when exercised, very liberating. I have tried to look at my surroundings from this point of view and I can already feel the burdens lifting. Letting go of the whys and simply living in the "now" is still very much in keeping with the doctrines I have learned to love my whole life. The system is set up for those with the authority to judge and even then, issues may arise. Heaven knows I understand that and when I spend my time in the frustration of it. I lose.
Looking at it through observation you are able to see the benefits of life and the blessings you have. The aboriginal people gave thanks for all things throughout the entire day from the rain falling to the wildlife offered up for sustenance. If we all simply lived a life of gratitude and observance, the turmoil of past burdens would lessen and healing would accelerate. It would make for a very full and rewarding life.
I have often wondered if in these native religions, the basics remain pure and intact and understanding them can bring us closer to where we need to be.
I love the gospel so much and I am continually astounded at, when lived purely, the answers to most of life’s difficult questions can be found. The culture has interrupted the basics and moving beyond it and looking deep you can see the goodness that resides within.
My Non Member friends often say that "you’re nothing like most Mormon’s I know; you don’t think you are better than us". When I first heard this I would get so sad, is that really the message we send out there? I think that in the excitement of what we have we sometimes forget the feelings of others.
I’ve stopped starting and stopping and now I move through my life. If by observing others I lose the judgment and I can also then lose the comparison I will steadily move through to a positive conclusion in the end.
My Mom could do this so well. She had five very completely different kids and she was able to make us all feel as if we were the most special without putting one ahead of the other by virtue of what we were accomplishing. It seemed as if she knew our very souls and celebrated the differences. She was very much an observer.
I may never be a leader again or deemed an important person in my spiritual culture by I will be an observer and a contributor which in the end, I think is what is expected. I spent so much of my time before in the who’s of the culture and changing that to the living of it, just for me, has become very rewarding and an inspiring journey. Here’s the catch though. I don’t think this is as much about an AHA moment as it is about the cycle of maturing and living. When you think of all the experiences, both good and bad, that I have lived through how can you not grow? It just seems logical.
What’s sad is that because I belong to a culture that devalues a person because of divorce my experiences are never truly shared as a way for others to grow or for that matter, the vise versa. I have a very good Bishop though who just called a single divorced woman as the RS president. A is amazing and is already proving that her experiences have made her an incredible woman to hold that calling and to have the compassion required for all the sisters in the organization. Thank goodness for a forward thinking man who can get past the culture and hear the whisperings of guidance so that all can be considered and that life’s experiences don’t limit future experiences.
I like the straight and narrow of my winding path. I love that not everyone’s path is the same. Thank goodness because sameness is simply boring and I doubt anyone would ever descried me as boring.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Being Afraid
“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.”
~Bette Midler
I have had an interested few days. My asthma has kicked up in a way I haven't felt in a number of years. Walking, talking, my gosh even thinking is all buggered up because I can't just take a deep breath and just "breathe". It's been my release for these last few years.... just breathing and then thinking and now, even breathing hurts, go figure.
What am I on about?
I don't scare easy and now, as I am moving forward I am.... a bit.
There are always a ton of reasons to simply not do something. I can talk myself out of just about anything but I haven't and mostly don't. The word "can't" left my vocabulary a long time ago and now, it seems to be creeping back and I am a bit scared. Do I let it back in? Are there times when "can't" is the souls way of taking disappointment out of your life?
I am an advocate for change! You must never remain stagnant and untested. Life is meant to be grasped and enjoyed. Our new Prophet admonished us to "Have Joy In the Journey!" The world is changing and rethinking the meaning of Joy. It's not about the toys or the places or the things you have but about real joy. Contentment! What brings contentment into our lives?
I am learning to redefine the journey and to come to know who and what I want and need for my life. I am first, now, a mother who must meet the needs of the youngest while he sojourns through these last years before adulthood. He has witnessed disappointment and he needs to know that he is loved. That his concerns will be addressed. He will know that standing on his own is coming soon. He gets that. I am glad.
I have great kids, I can't complain. I just want happiness to be theirs, always. It is coming for them. I know. My happiness is waiting as well. Every day is one more day where happiness fills my cup past half full!
I am enjoying my journey! I get it! It is all about the unit we come to and the unit we reunite with. I love it!
It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.”
~Bette Midler
I have had an interested few days. My asthma has kicked up in a way I haven't felt in a number of years. Walking, talking, my gosh even thinking is all buggered up because I can't just take a deep breath and just "breathe". It's been my release for these last few years.... just breathing and then thinking and now, even breathing hurts, go figure.
What am I on about?
I don't scare easy and now, as I am moving forward I am.... a bit.
There are always a ton of reasons to simply not do something. I can talk myself out of just about anything but I haven't and mostly don't. The word "can't" left my vocabulary a long time ago and now, it seems to be creeping back and I am a bit scared. Do I let it back in? Are there times when "can't" is the souls way of taking disappointment out of your life?
I am an advocate for change! You must never remain stagnant and untested. Life is meant to be grasped and enjoyed. Our new Prophet admonished us to "Have Joy In the Journey!" The world is changing and rethinking the meaning of Joy. It's not about the toys or the places or the things you have but about real joy. Contentment! What brings contentment into our lives?
I am learning to redefine the journey and to come to know who and what I want and need for my life. I am first, now, a mother who must meet the needs of the youngest while he sojourns through these last years before adulthood. He has witnessed disappointment and he needs to know that he is loved. That his concerns will be addressed. He will know that standing on his own is coming soon. He gets that. I am glad.
I have great kids, I can't complain. I just want happiness to be theirs, always. It is coming for them. I know. My happiness is waiting as well. Every day is one more day where happiness fills my cup past half full!
I am enjoying my journey! I get it! It is all about the unit we come to and the unit we reunite with. I love it!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Heart Prints
Whatever our hands touch
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture
On doorknobs,
dishes, books.
There's no escape.
As we touch we leave our identity.
Wherever I go today
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.
Heartprints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter
Or an anxious mother
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.
Send me out today
To leave heartprints.
And if someone should say,
"I felt your touch,"
May they also sense the love
that is deep within my heart.
~Author Unknown
I thought about something today and it made me realize just how lucky I am. A very good friend was honest and I admire that so much. The truth is never something that should be hidden or ran away from.
In my ever so humble opinion. If when the song ends and the time comes to know what I was all about, I hope and pray that the things of my life will not over power the living of my life.
My most treasured possessions are not things but people and that is what matters most.
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture
On doorknobs,
dishes, books.
There's no escape.
As we touch we leave our identity.
Wherever I go today
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.
Heartprints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter
Or an anxious mother
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.
Send me out today
To leave heartprints.
And if someone should say,
"I felt your touch,"
May they also sense the love
that is deep within my heart.
~Author Unknown
I thought about something today and it made me realize just how lucky I am. A very good friend was honest and I admire that so much. The truth is never something that should be hidden or ran away from.
In my ever so humble opinion. If when the song ends and the time comes to know what I was all about, I hope and pray that the things of my life will not over power the living of my life.
My most treasured possessions are not things but people and that is what matters most.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Know This.
“A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finding out what I really believe has been the best part of the journey I have been on these last few years. I thought I always knew but it was determined by so much around me and influenced by the tides of the culture I belong to. It was when I no longer flowed with the current of that tide that I started to really think about what it is I believe, I think, I know.
What I know most is that divinity is God Given and understanding my role in that lifts me to a realization of my infinite worth as a daughter of my Father in Heaven. I have come to accept that I must travel this journey knowing that my agency is mine and doesn’t belong to any other. The choices I make are known and in the becoming I am happy.
For me, this works and my children know that and accept that. I, in turn, accept their agency and know that for them, what is theirs is working. I cannot define their happiness in their lives as they cannot define mine. When I think, and I feel, and I know, what I know makes me happy!
I worship love. I worship the journey and the growing and the becoming. I worship what is there to understand that in this journey we interact and those interactions determine outcome. My outcomes are improving and I am knowing that peace is within grasp. It’s in me.
I have a testimony. It is strong and true and pure and it is my own. I am grateful for it.
As you know me, know this. I love and I am no longer afraid.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finding out what I really believe has been the best part of the journey I have been on these last few years. I thought I always knew but it was determined by so much around me and influenced by the tides of the culture I belong to. It was when I no longer flowed with the current of that tide that I started to really think about what it is I believe, I think, I know.
What I know most is that divinity is God Given and understanding my role in that lifts me to a realization of my infinite worth as a daughter of my Father in Heaven. I have come to accept that I must travel this journey knowing that my agency is mine and doesn’t belong to any other. The choices I make are known and in the becoming I am happy.
For me, this works and my children know that and accept that. I, in turn, accept their agency and know that for them, what is theirs is working. I cannot define their happiness in their lives as they cannot define mine. When I think, and I feel, and I know, what I know makes me happy!
I worship love. I worship the journey and the growing and the becoming. I worship what is there to understand that in this journey we interact and those interactions determine outcome. My outcomes are improving and I am knowing that peace is within grasp. It’s in me.
I have a testimony. It is strong and true and pure and it is my own. I am grateful for it.
As you know me, know this. I love and I am no longer afraid.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
What Greater Thing?
What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
~George Eliot
I was thinking when I took this picture; "Wow, have we ever come a long way!" and then I realized that it wasn't so much that we came that long of a way as it was that we realized that we did , in fact, really just belong exactly where we were.
Spending the Family Day weekend with my children seemed the most appropriate thing to do and I have to admit I was a bit scared because it was outside the Christmas holiday and could the feelings of peace and tranquility sustain itself as it had through Christmas. And guess what? It did.
We had a few bumps but overall we did fantastic and more than anything else we really are a healing if not almost completed healed family and we are sowing the most intricate and amazing memories together. Sitting in my Father's living room and watching these beautiful kids interact and play, laugh, cry and enjoy each others company bore witness to me just how far we have come.
I have such a strong belief in family and love and JOY. Every moment I spend in the business of being a family is an investment that is never a bad decision. My children are my greatest assets and without them I would be more than lost. Taking the time to realize just how much we do mean to each other and learning to function even with the bit of left over dysfunction which I believe more then ever is just a part of being a family.
Thank you babies for giving wings to my song! You call me home with your love and joy.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tranquil
"The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom."-
James Allen
I have read a number of books on spirituality and tranquility trying to find peace in a very chaotic existence. Don’t get me wrong here, I am not apostatizing. Spirituality is not something that I think we as members of the church have a monopoly on.
Quite a few years back, My Father had a guest come for Christmas Dinner. I’m not sure of her name but she was a princess from Burma and in her life she had witnessed the exiling of her family from her home and the assassination of both her father and brothers. She was currently touring the world looking for aid for her improvised country.
I have often said my Father expected us to have compassion and to have an understanding of the world’s events and not just those in our own backyard. He had taken this opportunity to introduce his family, all 30 something of us, and for her to see how a family works here in Canada.
I thought it a tad ironic since in most Mormon circles we would have been considered highly dysfunctional but in the real world we represented a pretty normal if not highly dedicated group of people.
What I remember most about her was grace and dignity and as she told the stories, even the younger grandchildren were transfixed. She spoke of her loss and her longing for the conflict and destruction to end in her country that she loved so much but mostly she was peaceful and without guile.
I have often heard of men in the church being described as "without guile" and I think that, of the ones I knew, not even close. This woman was tranquil and though these military forces and people of her country had turned their backs on her family and murdered them her primary concern was for those who brutalized her most. She was inspiring and she left a mark on me that remains today.
I continually search for finding the peace my soul so desires. I know that peace is attainable only through the atonement and the calmness of a settled and "at one" mind. I get glimpses of it now and then and it is enveloping. My search for inner peace will be complete when hate and confusion and caring of what others think is lost to me. It may take a lifetime, but it is my goal.
There are laws, irrevocably designed to follow the laws of nature that are not partisan to religion. All faiths believe in inner peace because it is a law of science and science is God’s laws. When you meet a soul who has transcended hate, envy, spite, jealousy, all of the world’s vices, and they have found within themselves an actual inner connection to all that is good and right, it moves you. It makes you realize that it is possible.
My Mom got it, just before she passed. I used to spend hours with her and though, at times, she was scared, I think she truly understood the purpose and meaning of life and she was comfortable with how she had lived hers. She would spend hours speaking to me about the answers to the questions of; "what are you going to do when?"
There are so many times when I face a time in my life and the answers are there because Mom and I had discussed the what if’s and I had decided already a course of action. Her wisdom and thoughts are the first to ring through when something comes up that we had discussed and even when we hadn’t, because of the talking we did, I have a good gauge on what she would advise me with. This was the greatest gift she gave me, I can’t thank her enough.
So, what am I on about?
Peace and all that it offers not just to each of us as individuals but as complete families, teams, units, societies.
Can you imagine just how harmonized our world would be if all of us just had a grasp on inner peace. Inspiring I am sure!
James Allen
I have read a number of books on spirituality and tranquility trying to find peace in a very chaotic existence. Don’t get me wrong here, I am not apostatizing. Spirituality is not something that I think we as members of the church have a monopoly on.
Quite a few years back, My Father had a guest come for Christmas Dinner. I’m not sure of her name but she was a princess from Burma and in her life she had witnessed the exiling of her family from her home and the assassination of both her father and brothers. She was currently touring the world looking for aid for her improvised country.
I have often said my Father expected us to have compassion and to have an understanding of the world’s events and not just those in our own backyard. He had taken this opportunity to introduce his family, all 30 something of us, and for her to see how a family works here in Canada.
I thought it a tad ironic since in most Mormon circles we would have been considered highly dysfunctional but in the real world we represented a pretty normal if not highly dedicated group of people.
What I remember most about her was grace and dignity and as she told the stories, even the younger grandchildren were transfixed. She spoke of her loss and her longing for the conflict and destruction to end in her country that she loved so much but mostly she was peaceful and without guile.
I have often heard of men in the church being described as "without guile" and I think that, of the ones I knew, not even close. This woman was tranquil and though these military forces and people of her country had turned their backs on her family and murdered them her primary concern was for those who brutalized her most. She was inspiring and she left a mark on me that remains today.
I continually search for finding the peace my soul so desires. I know that peace is attainable only through the atonement and the calmness of a settled and "at one" mind. I get glimpses of it now and then and it is enveloping. My search for inner peace will be complete when hate and confusion and caring of what others think is lost to me. It may take a lifetime, but it is my goal.
There are laws, irrevocably designed to follow the laws of nature that are not partisan to religion. All faiths believe in inner peace because it is a law of science and science is God’s laws. When you meet a soul who has transcended hate, envy, spite, jealousy, all of the world’s vices, and they have found within themselves an actual inner connection to all that is good and right, it moves you. It makes you realize that it is possible.
My Mom got it, just before she passed. I used to spend hours with her and though, at times, she was scared, I think she truly understood the purpose and meaning of life and she was comfortable with how she had lived hers. She would spend hours speaking to me about the answers to the questions of; "what are you going to do when?"
There are so many times when I face a time in my life and the answers are there because Mom and I had discussed the what if’s and I had decided already a course of action. Her wisdom and thoughts are the first to ring through when something comes up that we had discussed and even when we hadn’t, because of the talking we did, I have a good gauge on what she would advise me with. This was the greatest gift she gave me, I can’t thank her enough.
So, what am I on about?
Peace and all that it offers not just to each of us as individuals but as complete families, teams, units, societies.
Can you imagine just how harmonized our world would be if all of us just had a grasp on inner peace. Inspiring I am sure!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Truth
"Truth is not exciting enough to those who depend on the characters and lives of their neighbors for all their amusement."
~George Bancroft
Wow, I had a big life lesson recently and I had wondered if I could write about it. I have thought about it and realised that I should share this. It's a big one.
Being gossiped about has become common for me. It's the culture and the result of a high profile life in it. I have mostly tried to stay away from it but every once in a while, the rumours kind of slap me up side the head with the bad behavior of people who believe what they heard.
It makes church very hard and I could spend an enormous amount of time fighting it but I have such a strong testimony of truth and it's eventual revelation. Truth always rise and clears the rumours, it is only time that is needed.
This week however, I felt it too close and with all the recent drama I was almost crushed. What I heard was heartbreaking and seemed so unreal and the reality is the person telling me was in no way gossiping. She had been speaking to someone and had heard what was being said and knew, from her experience with my girls that evening in Comox that what was said just wasn't true. Even the person who said it wasn't accusing me but more trying to find reason in something so unreasonable she couldn't wrap her head around it. My friend spoke to what she knew first hand and the other women heard but in the telling of the story I became devastated. I loved this women and her husband was my Bishop for a time. They have known me since I was 10 years old and the thought that they were hearing and maybe even questioning nearly broke my heart.
Normally, I let this go but this time it was enveloping me and I could feel that it may have been something that needed addressed. I overreacted and with the wise council of friends and a Bishop they could see that this one was hurting. They all suggested to wait and then to discuss with them my truths.
I waited a few days, went to the temple and had an even more difficult time because the worst of the gossip was spread around by people that were working at the temple. I knew I needed to be there but I doubt I have faced anything as hard since first leaving my marriage. The temple for most is a place of peace and for me, with great effort, it can be.
I decided I needed to talk to these people. I couldn't let the 35 years of knowing them not at least mean trying to figure out how not to be hurt. I called and asked if they could come visit or I visit them. They chose to come to my home and I was glad because I knew that when they came in, they would be able to feel the change, the peace, that resides here. A peace that was never a part of the old home.
I started by telling them that I cared to much about the relationship we have to let my heart turn against them because I was making assumptions. These people were not gossip mongers. They have lived a difficult life being victims of gossip themselves and I just knew that we could have an open and honest conversation.
I am so glad that I faced my fear and rather than confront, I chose to converse and have an honest and open discussion where we could share the truths we knew for ourselves. Both sides have truth but is when the another's truth becomes force and only allows itself to be truth that it becomes ugly. This is the heart of the gossip that is being spread.
I have always accepted that there are two sides, it's why I share little of the details and only when necessary but even then, this is getting old.
The end was an understanding of just how difficult living under gossip is especially when it's coming from those that work at the temple. The mastermind of it will probably never stop so as I see it I have two choices. I can either buckle and walk away or just trust that in time, truth will prevail.
I have made many mistakes but I have never been afraid of understanding them and then changing. It's in those that continually fight the windmills where the battle is pointless.
The scriptures talk about being open and discussing differences to meet resolve. I have learned that when people come to fully resolve differences in the spirit of truth and honesty, any relationship can be saved.
Saving this friendship has been worth it. Overcoming my fears and approaching this in a spirit of openness and peace has made years of bad feeling only last moments and learning a very valuable lesson about assumption.
~George Bancroft
Wow, I had a big life lesson recently and I had wondered if I could write about it. I have thought about it and realised that I should share this. It's a big one.
Being gossiped about has become common for me. It's the culture and the result of a high profile life in it. I have mostly tried to stay away from it but every once in a while, the rumours kind of slap me up side the head with the bad behavior of people who believe what they heard.
It makes church very hard and I could spend an enormous amount of time fighting it but I have such a strong testimony of truth and it's eventual revelation. Truth always rise and clears the rumours, it is only time that is needed.
This week however, I felt it too close and with all the recent drama I was almost crushed. What I heard was heartbreaking and seemed so unreal and the reality is the person telling me was in no way gossiping. She had been speaking to someone and had heard what was being said and knew, from her experience with my girls that evening in Comox that what was said just wasn't true. Even the person who said it wasn't accusing me but more trying to find reason in something so unreasonable she couldn't wrap her head around it. My friend spoke to what she knew first hand and the other women heard but in the telling of the story I became devastated. I loved this women and her husband was my Bishop for a time. They have known me since I was 10 years old and the thought that they were hearing and maybe even questioning nearly broke my heart.
Normally, I let this go but this time it was enveloping me and I could feel that it may have been something that needed addressed. I overreacted and with the wise council of friends and a Bishop they could see that this one was hurting. They all suggested to wait and then to discuss with them my truths.
I waited a few days, went to the temple and had an even more difficult time because the worst of the gossip was spread around by people that were working at the temple. I knew I needed to be there but I doubt I have faced anything as hard since first leaving my marriage. The temple for most is a place of peace and for me, with great effort, it can be.
I decided I needed to talk to these people. I couldn't let the 35 years of knowing them not at least mean trying to figure out how not to be hurt. I called and asked if they could come visit or I visit them. They chose to come to my home and I was glad because I knew that when they came in, they would be able to feel the change, the peace, that resides here. A peace that was never a part of the old home.
I started by telling them that I cared to much about the relationship we have to let my heart turn against them because I was making assumptions. These people were not gossip mongers. They have lived a difficult life being victims of gossip themselves and I just knew that we could have an open and honest conversation.
I am so glad that I faced my fear and rather than confront, I chose to converse and have an honest and open discussion where we could share the truths we knew for ourselves. Both sides have truth but is when the another's truth becomes force and only allows itself to be truth that it becomes ugly. This is the heart of the gossip that is being spread.
I have always accepted that there are two sides, it's why I share little of the details and only when necessary but even then, this is getting old.
The end was an understanding of just how difficult living under gossip is especially when it's coming from those that work at the temple. The mastermind of it will probably never stop so as I see it I have two choices. I can either buckle and walk away or just trust that in time, truth will prevail.
I have made many mistakes but I have never been afraid of understanding them and then changing. It's in those that continually fight the windmills where the battle is pointless.
The scriptures talk about being open and discussing differences to meet resolve. I have learned that when people come to fully resolve differences in the spirit of truth and honesty, any relationship can be saved.
Saving this friendship has been worth it. Overcoming my fears and approaching this in a spirit of openness and peace has made years of bad feeling only last moments and learning a very valuable lesson about assumption.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
My Talk
When Brother Mullhull called and asked me to speak in Sacrament Meeting I was a caught a bit off guard. Before I knew what I was saying I had agreed. I wrote down the scripture reference for my topic and thanked him, in a jesting kind of way and continued on with the rest of my day. As I retired that evening I opened my scriptures and looked up the reference. My reaction then was, “Man Gerry, I thought you were my friend?”
2 Nephi 2; 27-28
27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
28 And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
Out of context the message of the scriptural reference is pretty apparent. We have agency and we must exercise it wisely.
Now let’s place the scripture back into context discuss how it finds itself in the words of Nephi.
As Brother Robert D Hales explains;
Father Lehi, the first prophet recorded in the Book of Mormon, also chose to follow the Lord. He was instructed to “take his family and depart into the wilderness.” 1 Despite harsh traveling conditions and the murmuring of his sons Laman and Lemuel, Lehi led his family to a land of promise. But it was not a place of peace. As Laman and Lemuel used their agency to disobey the Lord, Lehi’s “heart [was] weighed down with sorrow [for them].” 2 Before his death, Lehi gathered his children around him, blessed them, and counseled them. 3 To his rebellious sons he urged repentance and faithfulness: “Awake, my sons. … Shake off the chains with which ye are bound.” 4 And to his righteous son Jacob he taught one final, very important lesson.
Lehi had chosen this most important of messages for his youngest son. Jacob; who had been born in the wilderness. He knew nothing of the lavish lifestyle of their family’s life in Jerusalem. His life was about hardship in the wilderness and witnessing the very real conflict of good vs. evil. He saw the complexities of life’s relationships through the constant discourse between Laban, Lemuel and Nephi. He knew first hand that the Lord was able to bless those who obeyed, he had witnessed it and yet Lehi, in his last admonition to his youngest son needed him to know that in all things he was free to choose, but in his choices lay consequences.
How essential is understanding the Plan of Salvation to our existence here on the earth? Again, quoting from Brother Hales;
If we could leave one lesson of greatest importance for our children and grandchildren, what would it be? Of all the glorious principles of the gospel, Lehi chose to teach his son about the plan of salvation—and the gift of agency.
So to then say the one, if not the most important principal of the gospel that I have learned as an adult is the concept of personal free agency and yet in the exercising of it we find what we all believe is the greatest difficulty of life and parenting. For those of us whose children have chosen another path, coming to terms with their right to make that choice, especially for me, has been one of the greatest challenges and heartbreaks I have faced and yet, in it as well, I have grown profoundly in the love and admiration of My Heavenly Father’s purpose for me and for my family here on earth. In this single concept my whole testimony has grown and flourished and I have learned selflessness in a way that only this path, I believe could have taught me.
Howard W. Hunter refers to the gift of agency
To fully understand this gift of agency and its inestimable worth, it is imperative that we understand that God’s chief way of acting is by persuasion and patience and long-suffering, not by coercion and stark confrontation. He acts by gentle solicitation and by sweet enticement. He always acts with unfailing respect for the freedom and independence that we possess. He wants to help us and pleads for the chance to assist us, but he will not do so in violation of our agency. He loves us too much to do that, and doing so would run counter to his divine character.
Let me share my first experience with someone fully choosing a different path and how that in turn help me to understand the path my own children took.
I had visit taught a woman for a few years and we had become very good friends. Her life story, though not known by many was filled with experiences that I knew I could never truly relate to but in the sharing of them I was able to see her heart and know that it was genuine and good. She had a number of children and as the years past I could see the influence of her extended family in the way she was seeing the gospel. She had become involved in reading much of the Anti Joseph Smith literature and coupled with the negative experiences she had had with the culture of our church she began to disassociate herself from it. We talked often and while we did she learned to understand from me as I from her that a difference of opinion is not an excuse to end a friendship. One evening, she asked if she could really explain her point of view to me. I agreed and a very long and drawn conversation ensued. I have to say, the things she told me were bothersome, but as I had attended a very progressive and not well known Religion’s of the World class at BYU years ago, nothing that she was saying was anything I really hadn’t heard before. Our conversation ended and I thanked her. She asked if I was going to look into what she said and I agreed I would.
That evening, I knelt in prayer and asked my Father in Heaven to guide me as I entered the World Wide Web to seek answers. Now the web was in its infancy then so I am sure that the hits I got then are much different then what I would get now, but I can testify that the Lord provided a site that though brand new, was called, “answers to Mormon critics” and every question she poised to me was there. I called her the next day and we again discussed what I had found. The funny thing here is that there was never argument or contention, just a flowing of thought. In the end we agreed to disagree and have maintained contact since fully accepting that we each come to what we know in our own ways.
As I prayed and thanked my Father in Heaven for his hand in guiding me through this the spirit bore strong witness that this experience would be for my greater good. It wasn’t until recently when I was speaking to this friend that she asked, “do you think I prepared you for your girls?”, I laughed and then knew, yes, you really did because if I hadn’t already come to terms with the knowledge that there are people who will disagree and not accept the gospel that I love so much I doubt my journey of understanding the agency of my own children would not have been as easy.
Howard Hunter referenced the principal of agency;
Our Father in Heaven wanted our growth to continue in mortality and to be enhanced by our freedom to choose and learn. He also wanted us to exercise our faith and our will, especially with a new physical body to master and control. But we know from both ancient and modern revelation that Satan wished to deny us our independence and agency in that now-forgotten moment long ago, even as he wishes to deny them this very hour. Indeed, Satan violently opposed the freedom of choice offered by the Father, so violently that John in the Revelation described “war in heaven” over the matter. Satan would have coerced us and he would have robbed us of that most precious of gifts if he could: our freedom to choose a divine future and the exaltation we all hope to obtain.
Through Christ and his valiant defense of our Father’s plan, the course of agency and eternal aspirations prevailed. In that crucial, premortal setting, a major milestone was passed, a monumental victory was won.
So we are here. We are individuals, parents, children, brothers, sisters. We fill numerous roles in this earthly existence and we will all make mistakes in this earthly journey.
President Hunter again speaks to this when he said:
Given the freedom to choose, we may, in fact, make wrong choices, bad choices, hurtful choices. And sometimes we do just that, but that is where the mission and mercy of Jesus Christ comes into full force and glory. He has taken upon himself the burden of all the world’s risk. He has provided a mediating atonement for the wrong choices we make. He is our advocate with the Father and has paid, in advance, for the faults and foolishness we often see in the exercise of our freedom. We must accept his gift, repent of those mistakes, and follow his commandments in order to take full advantage of this redemption. The offer is always there; the way is always open. We can always, even in our darkest hour and most disastrous errors, look to the Son of God and live.
How then do we then help those we love most to return or want what we love so much in their lives?
“To fully understand this gift of agency and its inestimable worth, it is imperative that we understand that God’s chief way of acting is by persuasion and patience and long-suffering, not by coercion and stark confrontation. He acts by gentle solicitation and by sweet enticement. He always acts with unfailing respect for the freedom and independence that we possess. He wants to help us and pleads for the chance to assist us, but he will not do so in violation of our agency. He loves us too much to do that, and doing so would run counter to his divine character.
For those of us who find ourselves as parents of children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, even friends what is it that we can do to have them know of our great love for them and our desire for them to return to the fold.?
Let me suggest five points that may help.
1.) Teach them there is power in the Word of God.
For those with young children please know that teaching your children of the power of the words found in ALL the scripture can help them be better members of the world’s Society.
One of the greatest consolations I have with regards to my children is that they do have a foundation of Primary, FHE, Young Women’s Sunday school and daily family scripture study and in that they have a basis for a good life.
My daughter has often said that when in doubt she refers back to what she learned in Sunbeams and she can find ways to live a more whole life. Yes, God did indeed make the sun and the rain and all that is good in our lives.
2.) There is Power in the Gift of the Holy Ghost.
As strong members of the church we have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, he will guide us in our actions as we learn to love and accept the challenges that we face with less active children. Remember too, that though not as strong a voice, they too have that gift. Small maybe but I have so often heard the stories of those that have returned and how that still small voice was able to reach them even in their darkest hours.
3.) There is Power in the Priesthood.
Exercising the Priesthood in both your personal journey and those of your less active family members is always a blessing. Just this past spring we had an experience with Kristin. During her High School days she had been in gym and was accidentally knocked to the ground and her two front teeth were broken. The dentist had fixed them and for all intents and purposes we thought the trauma was over. It was to my surprise that in April I received a frantic call from her that she was in an enormous amount of pain. I met her at the dentist and we were shocked to find that the nerve had died to one of the teeth and now her full front right facial bone had a massive infection. The dentist made every effort to lance the infection to no avail and the situation was becoming tenser. She went to the hospital and was immediately put on IV. Every effort was made to lessen the infection but nothing was working. We were both scared and I knew how she felt about the church. I was honestly afraid to ask her if a blessing was something that she would be open to. I went to my room and prayed for some guidance. Her face was so swollen and her pain was so real and in my world a blessing seemed to be the only answer. Afterwards I went to speak to her about the possibility and as I did I felt prompted to ask if her most favorite childhood friend who had just returned from his mission could give it to her... I’m not sure if it was the drugs or just that she felt I needed her to have it that she agreed. Graham came to her home and what I witnessed was beautiful. These two had been friends since diapers and as he laid his hands on her head he blessed her with comfort and resolution; that there would someone who could help. Later that evening I called my home teacher, Brother Spencer, to see if he had any suggestions. . He told me he’d never met an abscess he couldn't drain and I brought her in. With three people in the room holding her down and me far enough away to not lose it from her screams of agony Brother Spencer was able to accomplish something that two other dentists couldn't’. If the blessing was just for me, it was okay because in the end she got better, less a quarter sized whole in her cheek bone.
4.) There Is Power in The House of The Lord.
I cannot say enough about this. Without my attendance at the temple I would have never been able to endure through these last few years. My children’s names are submitted each time and they understand just how important this place is for me. As my children struggle with what the Temple really means my example of attendance during rough times, especially for my son, helps them to know of its importance of it in my life. He and they understand my dedication to that Holy house.
5.) There is Power in The Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Understanding and exercising the Atonement in our own lives and those of our children will bring rewards beyond measure. In my children’s lives I have made many mistakes. I have personally sought out from each of them forgiveness for those mistakes and they, from a deep love have forgiven me. Because of this we are now a family that has the love so described that makes us eternal. The power of the atonement is breath taking.
And for those who have not yet exercised its power for themselves, when and if your loved ones do return, put aside the judgment and conditions and learn that it is only through love that full restitution of the atonement can come.
In their lives and those lives of people around us we must always refrain from judging, Elder
John A Carmack of the seventy said;
Because God and Jesus Christ alone (see D&C 76:68) can judge fully what is in people’s hearts, they alone can wisely and perfectly temper justice with mercy, conditioned on whether our hearts have been softened and whether we have repented of our individual sins. It is for this reason we are admonished not to judge others unrighteously. Harsh condemnation of others by us will bring to us similar condemnation from our Heavenly Father. God, as well as His Son, is a totally righteous and completely trustworthy judge, perfected in light, knowledge, and understanding.
Now in my life I have personally witnessed the transformation of someone who was “lost” to someone being found and he sits right there in the front row with his beautiful wife and 7 children. His example is what gives me faith and hope.
We must never give up. If you cannot seem to reach your daughter or son now, you can at least keep trying and keep loving him or her, for the very will to reach out, nurture, and extend help to another is an act of love that does not always go unnoticed.
If parents remain prayerful and helpful and maintain an open door for their children hope may not be lost.
As a good friend and Bishop’s wife once said, “Love is all we need”.
I bear witness of this truth, in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.
2 Nephi 2; 27-28
27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
28 And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
Out of context the message of the scriptural reference is pretty apparent. We have agency and we must exercise it wisely.
Now let’s place the scripture back into context discuss how it finds itself in the words of Nephi.
As Brother Robert D Hales explains;
Father Lehi, the first prophet recorded in the Book of Mormon, also chose to follow the Lord. He was instructed to “take his family and depart into the wilderness.” 1 Despite harsh traveling conditions and the murmuring of his sons Laman and Lemuel, Lehi led his family to a land of promise. But it was not a place of peace. As Laman and Lemuel used their agency to disobey the Lord, Lehi’s “heart [was] weighed down with sorrow [for them].” 2 Before his death, Lehi gathered his children around him, blessed them, and counseled them. 3 To his rebellious sons he urged repentance and faithfulness: “Awake, my sons. … Shake off the chains with which ye are bound.” 4 And to his righteous son Jacob he taught one final, very important lesson.
Lehi had chosen this most important of messages for his youngest son. Jacob; who had been born in the wilderness. He knew nothing of the lavish lifestyle of their family’s life in Jerusalem. His life was about hardship in the wilderness and witnessing the very real conflict of good vs. evil. He saw the complexities of life’s relationships through the constant discourse between Laban, Lemuel and Nephi. He knew first hand that the Lord was able to bless those who obeyed, he had witnessed it and yet Lehi, in his last admonition to his youngest son needed him to know that in all things he was free to choose, but in his choices lay consequences.
How essential is understanding the Plan of Salvation to our existence here on the earth? Again, quoting from Brother Hales;
If we could leave one lesson of greatest importance for our children and grandchildren, what would it be? Of all the glorious principles of the gospel, Lehi chose to teach his son about the plan of salvation—and the gift of agency.
So to then say the one, if not the most important principal of the gospel that I have learned as an adult is the concept of personal free agency and yet in the exercising of it we find what we all believe is the greatest difficulty of life and parenting. For those of us whose children have chosen another path, coming to terms with their right to make that choice, especially for me, has been one of the greatest challenges and heartbreaks I have faced and yet, in it as well, I have grown profoundly in the love and admiration of My Heavenly Father’s purpose for me and for my family here on earth. In this single concept my whole testimony has grown and flourished and I have learned selflessness in a way that only this path, I believe could have taught me.
Howard W. Hunter refers to the gift of agency
To fully understand this gift of agency and its inestimable worth, it is imperative that we understand that God’s chief way of acting is by persuasion and patience and long-suffering, not by coercion and stark confrontation. He acts by gentle solicitation and by sweet enticement. He always acts with unfailing respect for the freedom and independence that we possess. He wants to help us and pleads for the chance to assist us, but he will not do so in violation of our agency. He loves us too much to do that, and doing so would run counter to his divine character.
Let me share my first experience with someone fully choosing a different path and how that in turn help me to understand the path my own children took.
I had visit taught a woman for a few years and we had become very good friends. Her life story, though not known by many was filled with experiences that I knew I could never truly relate to but in the sharing of them I was able to see her heart and know that it was genuine and good. She had a number of children and as the years past I could see the influence of her extended family in the way she was seeing the gospel. She had become involved in reading much of the Anti Joseph Smith literature and coupled with the negative experiences she had had with the culture of our church she began to disassociate herself from it. We talked often and while we did she learned to understand from me as I from her that a difference of opinion is not an excuse to end a friendship. One evening, she asked if she could really explain her point of view to me. I agreed and a very long and drawn conversation ensued. I have to say, the things she told me were bothersome, but as I had attended a very progressive and not well known Religion’s of the World class at BYU years ago, nothing that she was saying was anything I really hadn’t heard before. Our conversation ended and I thanked her. She asked if I was going to look into what she said and I agreed I would.
That evening, I knelt in prayer and asked my Father in Heaven to guide me as I entered the World Wide Web to seek answers. Now the web was in its infancy then so I am sure that the hits I got then are much different then what I would get now, but I can testify that the Lord provided a site that though brand new, was called, “answers to Mormon critics” and every question she poised to me was there. I called her the next day and we again discussed what I had found. The funny thing here is that there was never argument or contention, just a flowing of thought. In the end we agreed to disagree and have maintained contact since fully accepting that we each come to what we know in our own ways.
As I prayed and thanked my Father in Heaven for his hand in guiding me through this the spirit bore strong witness that this experience would be for my greater good. It wasn’t until recently when I was speaking to this friend that she asked, “do you think I prepared you for your girls?”, I laughed and then knew, yes, you really did because if I hadn’t already come to terms with the knowledge that there are people who will disagree and not accept the gospel that I love so much I doubt my journey of understanding the agency of my own children would not have been as easy.
Howard Hunter referenced the principal of agency;
Our Father in Heaven wanted our growth to continue in mortality and to be enhanced by our freedom to choose and learn. He also wanted us to exercise our faith and our will, especially with a new physical body to master and control. But we know from both ancient and modern revelation that Satan wished to deny us our independence and agency in that now-forgotten moment long ago, even as he wishes to deny them this very hour. Indeed, Satan violently opposed the freedom of choice offered by the Father, so violently that John in the Revelation described “war in heaven” over the matter. Satan would have coerced us and he would have robbed us of that most precious of gifts if he could: our freedom to choose a divine future and the exaltation we all hope to obtain.
Through Christ and his valiant defense of our Father’s plan, the course of agency and eternal aspirations prevailed. In that crucial, premortal setting, a major milestone was passed, a monumental victory was won.
So we are here. We are individuals, parents, children, brothers, sisters. We fill numerous roles in this earthly existence and we will all make mistakes in this earthly journey.
President Hunter again speaks to this when he said:
Given the freedom to choose, we may, in fact, make wrong choices, bad choices, hurtful choices. And sometimes we do just that, but that is where the mission and mercy of Jesus Christ comes into full force and glory. He has taken upon himself the burden of all the world’s risk. He has provided a mediating atonement for the wrong choices we make. He is our advocate with the Father and has paid, in advance, for the faults and foolishness we often see in the exercise of our freedom. We must accept his gift, repent of those mistakes, and follow his commandments in order to take full advantage of this redemption. The offer is always there; the way is always open. We can always, even in our darkest hour and most disastrous errors, look to the Son of God and live.
How then do we then help those we love most to return or want what we love so much in their lives?
“To fully understand this gift of agency and its inestimable worth, it is imperative that we understand that God’s chief way of acting is by persuasion and patience and long-suffering, not by coercion and stark confrontation. He acts by gentle solicitation and by sweet enticement. He always acts with unfailing respect for the freedom and independence that we possess. He wants to help us and pleads for the chance to assist us, but he will not do so in violation of our agency. He loves us too much to do that, and doing so would run counter to his divine character.
For those of us who find ourselves as parents of children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, even friends what is it that we can do to have them know of our great love for them and our desire for them to return to the fold.?
Let me suggest five points that may help.
1.) Teach them there is power in the Word of God.
For those with young children please know that teaching your children of the power of the words found in ALL the scripture can help them be better members of the world’s Society.
One of the greatest consolations I have with regards to my children is that they do have a foundation of Primary, FHE, Young Women’s Sunday school and daily family scripture study and in that they have a basis for a good life.
My daughter has often said that when in doubt she refers back to what she learned in Sunbeams and she can find ways to live a more whole life. Yes, God did indeed make the sun and the rain and all that is good in our lives.
2.) There is Power in the Gift of the Holy Ghost.
As strong members of the church we have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, he will guide us in our actions as we learn to love and accept the challenges that we face with less active children. Remember too, that though not as strong a voice, they too have that gift. Small maybe but I have so often heard the stories of those that have returned and how that still small voice was able to reach them even in their darkest hours.
3.) There is Power in the Priesthood.
Exercising the Priesthood in both your personal journey and those of your less active family members is always a blessing. Just this past spring we had an experience with Kristin. During her High School days she had been in gym and was accidentally knocked to the ground and her two front teeth were broken. The dentist had fixed them and for all intents and purposes we thought the trauma was over. It was to my surprise that in April I received a frantic call from her that she was in an enormous amount of pain. I met her at the dentist and we were shocked to find that the nerve had died to one of the teeth and now her full front right facial bone had a massive infection. The dentist made every effort to lance the infection to no avail and the situation was becoming tenser. She went to the hospital and was immediately put on IV. Every effort was made to lessen the infection but nothing was working. We were both scared and I knew how she felt about the church. I was honestly afraid to ask her if a blessing was something that she would be open to. I went to my room and prayed for some guidance. Her face was so swollen and her pain was so real and in my world a blessing seemed to be the only answer. Afterwards I went to speak to her about the possibility and as I did I felt prompted to ask if her most favorite childhood friend who had just returned from his mission could give it to her... I’m not sure if it was the drugs or just that she felt I needed her to have it that she agreed. Graham came to her home and what I witnessed was beautiful. These two had been friends since diapers and as he laid his hands on her head he blessed her with comfort and resolution; that there would someone who could help. Later that evening I called my home teacher, Brother Spencer, to see if he had any suggestions. . He told me he’d never met an abscess he couldn't drain and I brought her in. With three people in the room holding her down and me far enough away to not lose it from her screams of agony Brother Spencer was able to accomplish something that two other dentists couldn't’. If the blessing was just for me, it was okay because in the end she got better, less a quarter sized whole in her cheek bone.
4.) There Is Power in The House of The Lord.
I cannot say enough about this. Without my attendance at the temple I would have never been able to endure through these last few years. My children’s names are submitted each time and they understand just how important this place is for me. As my children struggle with what the Temple really means my example of attendance during rough times, especially for my son, helps them to know of its importance of it in my life. He and they understand my dedication to that Holy house.
5.) There is Power in The Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Understanding and exercising the Atonement in our own lives and those of our children will bring rewards beyond measure. In my children’s lives I have made many mistakes. I have personally sought out from each of them forgiveness for those mistakes and they, from a deep love have forgiven me. Because of this we are now a family that has the love so described that makes us eternal. The power of the atonement is breath taking.
And for those who have not yet exercised its power for themselves, when and if your loved ones do return, put aside the judgment and conditions and learn that it is only through love that full restitution of the atonement can come.
In their lives and those lives of people around us we must always refrain from judging, Elder
John A Carmack of the seventy said;
Because God and Jesus Christ alone (see D&C 76:68) can judge fully what is in people’s hearts, they alone can wisely and perfectly temper justice with mercy, conditioned on whether our hearts have been softened and whether we have repented of our individual sins. It is for this reason we are admonished not to judge others unrighteously. Harsh condemnation of others by us will bring to us similar condemnation from our Heavenly Father. God, as well as His Son, is a totally righteous and completely trustworthy judge, perfected in light, knowledge, and understanding.
Now in my life I have personally witnessed the transformation of someone who was “lost” to someone being found and he sits right there in the front row with his beautiful wife and 7 children. His example is what gives me faith and hope.
We must never give up. If you cannot seem to reach your daughter or son now, you can at least keep trying and keep loving him or her, for the very will to reach out, nurture, and extend help to another is an act of love that does not always go unnoticed.
If parents remain prayerful and helpful and maintain an open door for their children hope may not be lost.
As a good friend and Bishop’s wife once said, “Love is all we need”.
I bear witness of this truth, in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Who you are.
"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying.”
In time the truth unfolds and all that seemed to be true is proven to either be false or wrong and those that quietly live and endure will be made whole. Just saying you are righteous does not make it so. Actions whether seen or not speak to who you are always and eventually who you are is seen by all.
Live harmonously and always be true to yourself.
In time the truth unfolds and all that seemed to be true is proven to either be false or wrong and those that quietly live and endure will be made whole. Just saying you are righteous does not make it so. Actions whether seen or not speak to who you are always and eventually who you are is seen by all.
Live harmonously and always be true to yourself.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Dreamin'
“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I had the most glorious Sunday afternoon nap this week. My church starts at 9:00am now and this time, though not my favourite, affords me this wonderful luxury of a Sunday afternoon nap. This afternoon was different though. D was off to his cousins because he needs to hear the noise of family. He misses that noise. We are very quiet now and I had the house alone excepting my precious Rocky who was lying down beside me.
Now, this precious companion of mine is starting to show the signs of age. He has the white beard and eyebrows now. When you call him he sometimes can’t here and he moves much slower than he used to. He can barely make it up the stairs. I have a feeling his body is catching up to the old soul that he has. He is the most wonderful of dogs and really, everyone should be blessed with one like him. He has been so great to have around.
Rocky did this thing on Sunday though. It may be laugh and cry and think harder than I ever have about the question. “Are there dogs in Heaven?” I think if you talk to any pet lover they will tell you yes. I can’t imagine not.
So here, let me tell you what happened.
The Little Rocketman woke me up from my nap with his stifled barks and running movements he was making all while he was asleep beside me. My baby was dreaming and from what I could see it was big. He was running as fast as he could, barking and yes, I know, you may think that dog’s don’t smile but this guy was, and big.
I just lay beside him wondering where he was in this dream and with whom. Was he in Fish Creek Park or Grandma’s backyard, maybe the Southland dog run by the Bow River? Who was with him? Maybe he was running beside Hector and Jack or even Chewy but he was with someone and just loved the movement that didn’t involve any of the pain of the arthritis he has.
Rocky is such a quiet dog so I always find it fascinating that in his dreams he’s so noisy. I laughed and thought; does he see himself as a much bigger dog in his dreams? He is always so timid at the dog runs and parks when we are out.
Well, since he can’t tell me I can only hope that in his dreams he’s everything he wants to be and more but in my opinion, he can’t get much better than he is. What I love about living and having this earthly journey is that we have the ability to dream and in that we can make what seems impossible.... possible even if we’re a dog.
Here’s to dreaming!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
He who is .... IS.
“Man has two creators, his God and himself. The first creator furnishes him the raw materials of his life—the laws and conformity with which he can make that life what he will. The second creator—himself—has powers he rarely realizes. It is what a man makes of himself that counts.”
~William George Jordon
When I was a very young girl, about nine or ten, I went into my mother and father's powder room. It had two large mirrors set at angles to each other and a chair, where my Mom could sit and apply her makeup. I remember stepping on the chair and sitting cross legged on the vanity staring at the mirror for some time asking the question; "Who am I?"
You have to understand here who I was literally at that point in my life. I had a face full of freckles, a tomboy would be the very least of ways to describe me and my hair a golden red. I wasn't really fitting in anywhere but the pool and for such a young age the question wasn't merely a question of literal parentage but more a deep concern for where did I really come from and where was it I was suppose to go.
I was spiritually inclined early on in my life and as I stared in that mirror I very real truth was revealed to me. As clear as day, as I asked that question, the answer resonated throughout me. "You are a child of God!"
I remember stepping down from the vanity and feeling somewhat relieved and even whole and it was then that I decided that knowing that would always be important in my life.
So what am I on about.
Our own divinity. What purpose, what value does it have in our day to day living? How much of it is preordained and how much is later defined by our efforts, our experiences?
There is so much that I know to be true and yet knowing I am a child/daughter of God has not always been easy. Circumstance can sometimes take us away from these truths. It's not that it ever becomes not, it is simply clouded in the daily living of hectic and discarded lives. It is when we lose our personal balance that we find ourselves undetermined in living a good life as defined my our own intentions.
We have within our very souls the divinity to make decisions that will make us happier, which will draw us closer to our families, friends, loved ones and will exhalt us to a better life. It wasn't until I truly understood that I was a daughter of Heavenly Father that I was able to make choices that sent the karma to the universe that I deserved better. That my family deserved better and because of this enlightenment life has become that much better.
What was once insurmountable is now fordable and what I find is that what was once seen as something I could never do, it is now seen as an adventure just waiting to be partaken. Ups, downs, and sideways are all part of living and embracing them knowing that whatever you set out to do, you do with the reality of your own divinity makes the journey that much more enjoyable.
So once again..... find the joy in your journey, it is so Zen!
~William George Jordon
When I was a very young girl, about nine or ten, I went into my mother and father's powder room. It had two large mirrors set at angles to each other and a chair, where my Mom could sit and apply her makeup. I remember stepping on the chair and sitting cross legged on the vanity staring at the mirror for some time asking the question; "Who am I?"
You have to understand here who I was literally at that point in my life. I had a face full of freckles, a tomboy would be the very least of ways to describe me and my hair a golden red. I wasn't really fitting in anywhere but the pool and for such a young age the question wasn't merely a question of literal parentage but more a deep concern for where did I really come from and where was it I was suppose to go.
I was spiritually inclined early on in my life and as I stared in that mirror I very real truth was revealed to me. As clear as day, as I asked that question, the answer resonated throughout me. "You are a child of God!"
I remember stepping down from the vanity and feeling somewhat relieved and even whole and it was then that I decided that knowing that would always be important in my life.
So what am I on about.
Our own divinity. What purpose, what value does it have in our day to day living? How much of it is preordained and how much is later defined by our efforts, our experiences?
There is so much that I know to be true and yet knowing I am a child/daughter of God has not always been easy. Circumstance can sometimes take us away from these truths. It's not that it ever becomes not, it is simply clouded in the daily living of hectic and discarded lives. It is when we lose our personal balance that we find ourselves undetermined in living a good life as defined my our own intentions.
We have within our very souls the divinity to make decisions that will make us happier, which will draw us closer to our families, friends, loved ones and will exhalt us to a better life. It wasn't until I truly understood that I was a daughter of Heavenly Father that I was able to make choices that sent the karma to the universe that I deserved better. That my family deserved better and because of this enlightenment life has become that much better.
What was once insurmountable is now fordable and what I find is that what was once seen as something I could never do, it is now seen as an adventure just waiting to be partaken. Ups, downs, and sideways are all part of living and embracing them knowing that whatever you set out to do, you do with the reality of your own divinity makes the journey that much more enjoyable.
So once again..... find the joy in your journey, it is so Zen!