Okay...so you know those moments when you have been living your life by the seat of your pants and trying hard to look like you know what your doing and then all of a sudden you realize some profound truth that makes the moment matter in your life. Yeah, well, I had one yesterday.
I may not be a Barbie, but who I am has great value in this world to the people that matter most. My kids are awesome and when I go through each day what I think about most is how excited I am that they are making a difference in the world they live in. They are smart, hard working, mostly happy,except for the emotional farts that happen sometimes because of the baggage that is our dysfunction, and cool individuals. So they choose a different religious path. Isn't that part of the great principal of the gospel that we call the Plan of Salvation. Don't get me wrong, it hurts, but it is their choice. I still love them and honor that plan. Because I do, I think they are honoring my plan to stay active.
Sometimes the residual effects of divorce suck!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
The First Step!
How many self help books do you have to read before you get that knot out of your Molly Mormon gut that keeps telling you that you have failed. My first step to the journey of Zen is rediscovering that happiness can be redefined and who are we to impower a culture to have us dissappear because we decide to find strength and go agains't the norm.
So what am I saying here. After 25 years of a horrible, abusive, destructive living I surfaced and took a breath. Then I hauled my kids up and we started to heal. The thing that sucks though, is that damage is like a rotten tatoo that everyone kind of looks at but no one can really make it all dissappear. The answer.....the secret...ugh. no. Oprah and the Power of Now..maybe. How about just looking in the mirror and being bloody grateful that someone had the tenacity to get up and get out. Yeah Momma!
Yeah kids, yeah everyone! Zen....Faith.. whatever it is going to take to find me again and find the wholeness I once felt. This is my journey. Come Join me.
So what am I saying here. After 25 years of a horrible, abusive, destructive living I surfaced and took a breath. Then I hauled my kids up and we started to heal. The thing that sucks though, is that damage is like a rotten tatoo that everyone kind of looks at but no one can really make it all dissappear. The answer.....the secret...ugh. no. Oprah and the Power of Now..maybe. How about just looking in the mirror and being bloody grateful that someone had the tenacity to get up and get out. Yeah Momma!
Yeah kids, yeah everyone! Zen....Faith.. whatever it is going to take to find me again and find the wholeness I once felt. This is my journey. Come Join me.