When Faith Endures

So, have you ever had one of those Sundays when you wake up and the mere thought of enduring 3 hours of church overwhelms you. I just couldn't bring myself to see the point of abiding yet another Sunday in a culture that sees my marriage status as a reason to 1.) never talk to me again even though you have known me since I was born but now, since I am a nobody, there's no reason to communicate or 2.) go through another lesson about hanging on and forgiving even though that is the lesson I need to hear most of all!

Yeah, well, I just described the mind process I went through from about 9-10am this morning. It was when I went to see D that all those thoughts left my head and I new where I needed to be and why.

It's fast Sunday as well so double the anxiety and you have the start of my most calming of days.
I had been praying for wisdom to figure this all out. I had just finished reading "The Peacegiver" for the third time and was really trying to find the Zen of my life. What was it Big Guy that I wasn't getting? Why was it still a dull ache when with all my heart I knew that I was happy? Sounds odd, doesn't it? Happiness and yet a dull ache?

So we went through testimony meeting, pretty good for sure and I kept thinking, the answers here, somewhere, I can feel it.

Last testimony, one of my most favorite people in the universe, it was beautiful, I for sure felt the spirit but the earth wasn't quaking, shaking or moving for me.

I bowed my head and just silently pleaded, please, just a bit of peace to get me through the week. It's all I need.

Then the closing hymn. An obscure one. I hadn't remembered it from anytime before. I am not a singer so it was not hard to just listen and read the words. Two sentences in I am holding the tears.

An Answer.

Thanks BG.

I will not doubt,

I will not fear;

God’s love and strength are always near.

His promised gift helps me to find

An inner strength and peace of mind.

I give the Father willingly

My trust, my prayers, humility.

His Spirit guides; his love assures

That fear departs when faith endures.