There is no end to the Good we can do.

"There is no end to the good we can do, to the influence we can have with others. Let us not dwell on the critical or the negative. Let us pray for strength; let us pray for capacity and desire to assist others. Let us radiate the light of the gospel at all times and all places, that the Spirit of the Redeemer may radiate from us."

Gordon B. Hinckley,
"The Need for Greater Kindness," Ensign, May 2006, 61

So I could go on and on about this quote but I think it is self explanatory.

For some time I have been feeling stuck in a rut and trying to understand just how to move forward in faith. I have learned so many valuable lessons and so much about myself and my children and the strength that exists in all of us. Strength I didn't even know existed. But here we are, realizing that in fact; "YES WE CAN" and now we must do.

So how do you do?

Lets go back to the stove analogy ("Stoves"). Each member of my family tackles our individual lives so differently and yet each way is not more right or wrong; just different.

I'm not going to go into each scenario but suffice it to say that they all work both individually and as a group.

People are like that. You may watch someone go through something and wonder what the heck were they thinking when you watch as they transverse through that difficult time but for that person their methodology works and how can we really judge it. We don't know their soul, their thinking, their circumstances. Sure there are basic steps but all of us aren't on the same stairway. To say only one way is right is to say that Satin's plan is the only answer and we all know that that just isn't so.

Oh my gosh, here we go again. That old choice banner. Enough S, everyone knows how you feel.

I had a great talk with a friend last night. She is so full of wisdom and never really knows that she is giving the help she is. I hadn't sat and spoken with her for such a long time because we are both so busy, her way more than anyone I know and she just dispels wisdom in her words. I have been so blessed to have her as a friend.

When we were done and I walked out to my car I had an "AHA" moment. I can see answers so much more clearly. I feel the spirit so strong sometimes that I don't even have to really think about it, I just know. It's as if the Lord understands my heart and knows my journey and realizes that sometimes I just need to hear louder because of all the noise that I have no control over that is around me. It felt as if, for a time, I may be granted a bit of a reprieve from Satan's constant battering off my soul. Guess what dude, you just ain't getting it!

Wow, what a feeling of Zen that came over me. That inning is over. I listened to my leaders and as much as I may not have totally understood I had the faith that they were inspired for me and for my family. Oh, don't get me wrong, it hasn't made the journey any less difficult just less corrosive to my soul because of the support that they offer.

From the moment I walked into Dr. Z's office some 8 years ago the spirit has always borne witness to me that these people were there to help. I have tried to follow their words and in the doing so I have come to know my Father in Heaven so much more and I understand the Saviors love for me and have found in his Atonement the healing and peace it offers everyone. If you haven't understood this blessing it is my hope and prayer you seek it out. It is the ultimate zen.

Last night as I was leaving L's house, Bishop H commented on my countenance. I get that sometimes. I have been through the ringer these last few months and my face showed that. Now, as I see myself in the mirror I recognise my divinity again and can know that I am, in fact, his daughter. How do you not feel love when you know that simple fact.

It's that time again. Just in case you didn't know, I have such a strong and enduring love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't believe my journey is unusual. There are many out there who are struggling and barely surviving and always questioning. Please, above all else, remember to have faith. Reach out to those you trust and lean on them to their understanding. There is nothing more Zen then a good, heartfelt discussion on why you have faith and the trial of always believing. Don't even draw yourself into the perfection myth and believe that there are people out there who live perfect lives. What you may be witnessing is someone suffering in silence.

Follow the spirit and speak if you are so touched to do so. I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for MM who came over one Sunday and asked in a way that I could only answer truthfully and the silent suffering ended and I was able to finally get help. I don't know where I would be without that moment in my life.

So here's to the quote. I have seriously thought of stopping this blog. My patriarchal blessing says that my written word will cause people to change and alter their lives. When I prayed about this I felt strongly that I needed to continue and to leave it open. I will never know all of you that visit this blog but I hope that you can see this journey I am on and understand my weaknesses and strengths and know that this really is just one women's journey to emotional health and that in some way it helps. It's all I ask and pray for.