Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is the holiday of peace, the celebration of work and the simple life... a true folk-festival that speaks the poetry of the turn of the seasons, the beauty of seed time and harvest, the ripe product of the year - and the deep, deep connection of all these things with God.  ~ Ray Stannard Baker (David Grayson)

As a member of our Church we are taught to start each prayer with a heart of Thanksgiving. We go through, almost robotically, all the things that we are grateful for. I have spent a fair amount of my prayers trying to put purpose in this and to truly express to the Lord what I am so thankful for in my life. There are times when I wonder if the Lord really knows and if in some of it, is it truly okay to be grateful for?

I woke early to put the turkeys in the oven. Yes, that is plural, we have that many coming and I thought of my Mom. She used to do this, as her mother did and great grandma, and great great grandma, only I think those ladies got up a bit earlier than me and killed the bird themselves. At least I have heard stories of it. I am grateful most for the legacy of motherhood that resides within my genetics. I come from strong women stock on both sides and that birthright is essential to my makeup and to my girls inner strength. Thank-you.

My family. Most of them anyway. Once again, a bit of dysfunction is playing out but with the new found strength that is mine I am better able to set the boundaries and request the peace that is mine to have in my home. When I wake in the morning this home is a haven of spiritual peace and comfort. The HG resides here and many comment on the way this house feels like home. I believe with all my heart that why that happens is because of all the effort that is made to ensure peace is here and that hard feelings are not welcome. I have had to make a decision to keep the peace here. I am grateful for the strength that I have now that I am able to discern what is needed to make my home a place of calm and comfort. I am grateful for those who understand and aid me in this quest. Even 7 screaming, happy kids, can keep that feeling alive because it is in the innocence that the spirit resides. I only wish all of the judgement that comes with some people in our religion could be checked at my door too. I understand though, that it is not a perfect world.

I am grateful for the decision M made to remarry on this day. It will be a reminder every year for how grateful I am for the life that I have and have had. My journey is filled with JOY and I will never regret any part of it so far. His departure has brought great comfort and peace and my only regret is in the pain my kids still suffer at his callous heart. His remarriage will end most of that while he becomes a family where he is and leaves what is here alone, by his choice. There is great peace and saddness in that. I wish him all the happiness and love in his new life.

I am grateful for friends, new and old, found and lost. What would I be without them. They are wonderful and so purposeful in my journey. My only prayer is that I can be as giving to them as they have been to me and that my burdens will soon be played out and I can return to the giving that so completes me. I feel that time coming soon.

I want the WWW to know that my most thankful procession is my testimony. Without it, I would be very lost and forgotten. I am grateful for its redefinition to be not so inclusive, for its broadening of prioritizing my Saviors gospel and his life and how I can emulate it. For finding peace and contentment in the journey and for feeling zen more often then not.

Thank-you..... Always.