"But if Not...,"

"The Lord has given us agency, the right and the responsibility to decide. He tests us by allowing us to be challenged. He assures us that He will not suffer us to be tempted beyond our ability to withstand. But we must understand that great challenges make great men. We don't seek tribulation, but if we respond in faith, the Lord strengthens us."~ Dennis E. Simmons

"But If Not . . .," Ensign, May 2004, 73

I have been trying to understand my role in this universe. Where do I really stand and to whom does my shadow fall. Especially now, when it would be easy to give up all that I KNOW is good for ME. Where is my Faith and what does it expect of me.... NOW.


Martin Luther says; "Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favor that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it."


I feel like I've died a thousand deaths only to rise again to be shot down once more. Why bounce back?


Because in the bouncing there's a rush of hope that says, this time, it will all be different. You just know that this one time, it will be what you want most of all, when you know what it is you want most of all.


You would think at 46 that my issues with finding faith would be over but I am finding this struggle equal to when I first sought out a testimony. Inside me though, is an unwavering belief in the goodness of God and his peaceable, loving nature.


I know I am loved, not just by him but by all my family and friends and that they care.


This is why this battle seems beatable.


I am supported.


THANK-YOU!