Seeker After Truth

"Silence is a great help to the seeker after truth. In the attitude of silence, the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after truth, and the soul requires inward restfulness to attain its full height."

~ Mahatma" Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

So clearly you can tell after reading the last few blogs that we as a family and myself personally had a bit of a bumpy ride. Man, I was sure that the bumps were pretty much over but once again, I misjudged. I do that often.


I think I have a process now to get over these hurdles. Sometimes it's a breeze and others it's a frickin Tornado. A twister of biblical proportions went through and guess what, I think we survived. At least I think so for now.


Silence was the key and reflective thought. I have spent many a hour rebuilding some faith in my kids and myself but maybe for all maybes, we better knock on some wood, we cleared this one. Intact and maybe a bit poorer but finally free to really be who and what we were always meant to be!


When Bishop H made his suggestion at first I wanted to scream and shout and claim the absurdity of how unfair everything was. It took some time and compassion from others as they helped me to realize how lucky and blessed I really am. And then I thought.....hmmmmm.... so here I am. The Mom of amazing kids who I love and adore and to whom they have shown the same to me. When I consider the financial position I could be in, I shiver a bit, and then remember; I have a great job, hard but there, a great life, great friends, even greater family and then an AHA moment came to me.


Maybe I needed to redefine the word FAIR and see that in fact, the scales are balanced on my behalf when you think about it. At the end of the day, my kids love me, they respect me and recognize the sacrifices we are all making to become a functional, happy and adoring family. It's really happening. We really are that and so here's to M. Try and shake it, destroy it, hurt it. You will never have what we have here. I am sad for that. You are missing out.


So I am going to take a deep breath and move forward. Scared... frightened really but happy and content to know..... Family is our purpose. It's our destiny. I love who I came to and who came to me and I can hardly wait to meet those who are still waiting to come.


Let me testify again to the importance of the words of this quote. I did take a measurable amount of time to really reflect and judge what was asked of me and what was needed by my family. The C'Train is an awesome place to meditate deeply and to pray. (Don't laugh!) It was in the silence I heard the answers I needed to hear to make the decisions and to follow through to make this right. This last few days may never really make sense to me but they will always be right, because in the silence the Big Guy let me know it would be.


P.S. Thanks for the prayers, they helped.