Climbing In and Taking the Walk

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." ~ Atticus Finch: To Kill A Mockingbird

People have a way about them that let's you know pretty early the way they see things. The one thing I love about my life is that everyone of my friends sees life in such wonderful and unique ways.

I think it was about 5 or 6 years ago when I was re-reading "The Seven Habits" for my new job and the nasty little concept of paradigms came up and another one of those AH HA moments happened. I love those moments because they mean I am growing, which, above all else, is a good thing.

I have a good friend who has a shoe fetish. By that, I should elaborate that we are indeed talking "Imelda Marcos" size fetish and this girl has style. One of my favorite things to do is see what shoes she will be wearing at church. She has many and my faves include bright orange stiletto's with straps, lime green kitten heels and simple black pumps. It helps that she has the most beautiful feet that suits a women engrossed in the love of shoes. She saves her pennies for the love of the heels, and I have been shoe shopping with her so I can attest to the skill and time she takes in picking the perfect shoe. There are no "trends" adorning her soles, all our classic. You know the kind of shoes I am talking about, the ones you would find in a shoe museum!

It helps that she is also the person that taught me about the real life engagement of the adage my Mom bore into us so well. "Until you walk in their shoes - don't judge." A. taught a lesson on this and she came at it with such grace and wisdom. It remains one of the most enduring Super Saturday lessons that has stuck with me. With foot prints around the room, each listing a different trial, the message was clear. We each struggle, we each strive to be better and although we all have the same goals as far as eternity goes, we each definitely come at it in our own way.

Reading "To Kill A Mockingbird" changed me. I read it first in grade seven. It wasn't assigned but I came across it in the Calgary Public Library as I waited to go to swim club. I would sit and read it over and over and found myself identifying so much with the characters, especially Scout and found that I was indeed living through the words of Harper Lee. Most of the concepts of the book were foreign to me. I was living in Calgary when prejudice was something I was never exposed to because there wasn't much to be prejudice about. I do remember being outraged at the injustice of the plot and thinking that Atticus would have been a dream to have as a father not ever realizing just how much my own Dad was like him.

In grade 10 we studied the book and I was learning to connect words and thought well by then. I wrote a paper on identifying with Scout and literally walking in her shoes here in Calgary. In grade 7 I couldn't see the hatred around me, in grade 10 I was becoming keenly aware of the differences that were in my culture all along.

Today, I think differences have made a bigger part in my life. I find myself having to pare away an instinct to be angry at those I think don't make sense. I try hard to see colorless cultures and be about people without preconceived notions but I still fail. I was afraid of voting for Naheed Nenshi for mayor because of the color of his skin and had I just dug a bit deeper I should have seen his qualifications were impeccable and he was offering what I was looking for, something much different than what had been our City Hall for far too long.

There is a test you can take called the Meyers Briggs personality sorter when you see where you personality levels on 16 different types. Your score weighs to one or another and in the end you are assigned 4 letters, ISTJ, ENSJ and so forth. I am not going to reveal where I fell in this but what I will say is that when you take this test to another level, where would the Savior score. The answer is simple. Neutral. He would be no more one letter than another and for that moment I realized that this concept should be a goal.

When we walk in a world where we can truly understand and have compassion for all that is around us, we become someone who can truly wear another's skin and be comfortable in it. I am so far from ever being able to do this but it is my wish to first see the world from another eyes before I ever try and have them see it from mine. I think that's the first step.