For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,

A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I learned a very important lesson today on perspective. It came from a very unlikely source and it involved two very different points of view.

Someone was describing a time in the past and thanked my friends for the bonding and loving experience that it was, how the experience brought them closer and how he had such fond memories. In his opinion it was an activity that was truly inspirational.

My friends experience was very different. They remember this time as horrid and hard and if anything cemented the fracture in the relationship that has existed for a long time. In fact, PTS syndrome has been a result. It damaged them and they have nothing but bad memories of it.

How can there be such a different perspective on the same thing and here's the clicker; where is the truth?

So here's what I am on about.

From my past experiences I have learned that each of us draw to any experience our own perspective, our own truths. We see things from our own eyes, process it, give it reason and move on.

Good people will then understand that differences are real and that what one person may see as pleasurable and growing another may see as downright abuse and has no purpose at all.

Each has elements of truth, the fault lies in not understanding that each of us has a right to see things from our own point of view and also in not accepting that another truth may have reason in it as well.

My guess is that the individual I write about will never understand that his pleasurable experience ever caused the amount of pain that it did. He is quite incapable of understanding that. With that being said, it does not take away from the pain the others feel, it is real, for them and for those that care for them.

May we all find the self respect to see another light and to give them the God given right to feel and know that for them their truths are every bit the fabric that comforts their souls.

That when we comprehend the paradigms of those who share our life that we can see into them and support their truths so that they can know that they are loved and that by stepping out of ours we can understand what true compassion is.

Christmas is the perfect season to begin this. Find it in your heart to look beyond your own perspective, beyond your own point of view and try and understand someone else's world from their eyes. Covey calls this win - win.

I have endeavored to make this a practise in my life for some time. It has brought me great peace and understanding and I have learned that when I take the time to see this way I most often avoid unnecessary conflict. I always find peace in this endeavor.