If you don't want to be filled with a completely biased opinion then might I suggest you may want to stop reading this blog entry now.
I am having a very interesting day. Down days don't happen often and very rarely last as long as they used to but I had a very momentary relapse and decided I needed to send out to the WWW my musings about the above quote by Jeffrey R. Holland.
I am a child of the 60's who was raised in the church when what they taught us was if you did it all right everything would be the fairytale. You know the one..... keep yourself worthy and find yourself a strapping young RM and marry in the temple and YOUR LIFE IS SET!
Guess what people. I bought it.
Was I shocked when just moments after (some may argue before but that would insinuate that I might have been a bit stupid) that very fairytale started to crumble.
Before we cut the cake my journey to hell had started and there was nothing I could do that would have ever been able to stop it. I was spiritually inferior and worthless and had no value as I did not hold the priesthood.
Please note that my faith and gospel that I love does NOT teach this. There are some men out there who just take this doctrine and; (shut your eyes,, here comes a swear) bastardize it.
So 26 years later; here I am, coping as a single Mom and finding faith in the most obscure places and I ran across this most thought inspiring quote. It hit me right in my heart! Not in the way you think either.
I am living in my heaven. As the divorce is now final and we are now healing the kids are with me. We laugh and spend oodles of time together and love each other without arguments or harsh words and we SMILE :0) all the time and tell each other we love each other..... MORE.
We have family dinners and nights out and sometimes they just come over and watch TV. My favorite is how my loving and amazing kids tag team each other when life gets difficult and no one is afraid anymore of being hurt by criticism or mean words.
WE ARE A FAMILY... a normal, dysfunctional loving unconditionally crazy love family and we are HEALING! We are just doing it without the DAD because he chose to leave this town and not be a part of this.
So Brother Holland; THANK-YOU. You have reminded me that I can have heaven here on earth and that the possibility of that heaven extending to after this life is so real to me because I know my Father in Heaven is going to take one look at us and say..."Well done!" He will recognize our journey and grant some leniency because of the emotional torture that was our past life.
And please if you are reading this and wondering again, what is Sandi on about now?" Just remember every moment of everyday is one step up from where you once were.
To all those people who have been a part of this great journey with my children and I; THANK-YOU! We are healing because of your tender care and mercies.
And to the Big Guy upstairs, THANK-You even more. Without you I wouldn't be the Mom I have become.
To my precious bundles of ever lovin' joy...K & K & K & D. You are the BOMB! Thank-you for forgiving me for the terrible mothering I did and for letting me be the Mom I was always meant to be! You are my heaven!
YOMOMMA
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