Life Lesson # 17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
Purging is such a cathartic response to moving forward. One of my favorite chores to do is to spring clean. I go room by room and I sort the items based on certain criteria. Have I worn or used it in the last year? Is it vital or meant as a memory item that will bring lasting comfort? If it isn’t meeting either of the two criteria, can it bring comfort or joy to another? If yes, then it is put into a “reuseable” sort and if not – garbage.
Ridding yourself of those items that cause stress, pain or discomfort can bring relief to your life. Items can include actual objects or metaphorical objects but purging your life of the lost necessities of it removes the clutter that can make your life more difficult. There is always order is cleanliness and this includes not only your home, and your mind but also your personal life.
Establish in your heart all that is beautiful and joyful. People as well as your own personal goals can be analyzed and find its purpose in your life. Prioritize and then purge, do not mourn the lost hope of accomplishing everything. Find reason and order and then let go of those things you may never get to but don’t matter in the grand schema of things. Life will be refreshing and easier when you know what it is exactly you can and can’t do.
Lately as I try and find balance I have come to terms with preconceived notions and thought processes long since established in my life but detrimental still the same. As I do this I am learning to find truth and honor within myself and in the letting go of wanting to be everything to everyone.
What am I on about?
Peace in your very soul that brings you to terms with your being, your integrity and that you find truths about yourself lost since fought for and then comes the realization that the truth was there all the time.
Let me give an example. I have always felt that the most important thing in any relationship is to be understood. That my opinion had validity and that I needed absolute assurance that it was important. A while back, my sis M hooked me up to a very profound concept by Stephen Covey. It’s concept five in his 7 habits of Highly Effective People. It is; “seek first to understand then to be understood.” Wow, as I read about this and brought the principal into my life it began to change the relationships I had with others and most importantly, change me.
Once I took the time to hear, to try and see what the other shoes were about, not only did I grasp those paths of the people I interacted with but I learned more about my own too. My load became lighter, my tasks easy and my relationships less strained. I found myself coming to terms with my desire to be seen as one thing to a realistic approach to myself as being the best I could be and my own analysis of my life in comparison to others. What others thought seemed to matter less and less and what I thought of others became clearer because I took the time to understand. Judgment seemed to dissipate to become a simple observance of another’s life.
My conviction to my own beliefs has increased and more so, I have looked deeply into what those very beliefs are and what I was expecting of others. My relationships have been changed because how I see things is so different now. I am surer of myself and what has resulted is a clear and ever present understanding not just of my paradigm but of those paradigms of the people most close to me. It also has allowed me to purge those people who think and want an opinion in my life but are not in the part of my circle of influence to which that right to have one exists. What surprised me was not just that once those people were purged but that my life’s expectations for others became more realistic as I followed through with this concept.
An example would be my desires for the “black and white” mentality. As convinced as I am that this is a destructive way of seeing the gospel it is the RIGHT of any individual to live that way for them. Where it becomes wrong is when it is forced on others as it would be as equally wrong for my belief of a much more liberal and “grey” approach to be forced on them. Letting go of the discontentment and truly becoming at-one with my own placement and beliefs has freed me not only from an incredible amount of destructive self talk but it has also allowed me to rid the guilt of living a life not in accordance with anyone else’s demands. I choose for myself my own destiny, no one else, and I have no control over the destiny of others. Letting go has made me an observer in the life of others and an active and balanced contributor to my own life. This is mental health at its best.
My Father in Heaven is a major part of the circle of influence in my life. I have a deep and abiding love for the gospel and for its purpose in my journey here on this earth. I have learned that the belief in the beauty of all things attainable and attributable to me lays within my own definition and that ridding the parts of my life that aren’t beautiful, aren’t joyful, aren’t peaceful lies solely in my own determination. I may think I know what’s best for another or for that matter someone may think they know what’s best for me but in the end it is only my determination that can truly know the path my life is intended for and vice versa. With God’s grace and assistance I can become anything and everything and it is I that will only know if that journey really is the one I was meant to take.
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