Perception can be Sanitized

Life is the art of being well deceived; and in order that the deception may succeed it must be habitual and uninterrupted. ~ William Hazlitt

* DISCLAIMER - For my active and strong Mormon family - you may want to skip this post. I am venting here and you may strongly disagree.

Trust is something I do far too easily. I have been raised LDS. As far as I can remember I have memories of sitting in little chairs having standardized pictures that have remained the same for all ions of my growing up. There is the one of the Savior coming out of the clouds, or of the children on Jesus's lap and Joseph Smith in the sacred grove. All bring back thoughts and feelings of everything I was taught to be true. I never doubted for a moment that what was depicted in those illustrations was different then the truth they meant to me.

Here is the illustration I grew up with of the interpretation of Joseph Smith translating the plates. I don't remember very much discussion of how it was done, just that it was a process very much inspired from God. All throughout my growing up I trusted the images I was shown and that I myself displayed year after year for both my learning and my teaching.

Imagine my dismay when after reading the book "Rough Stone Rolling" I was first introduced to a much different method of the translation of the BOM. Even in this book it was lightly touched on and after going forward and researching I was agast at learning that the documented recollections and first hand accounts are actually more in keeping with this illustration. 

He threw the stones (peeping stones) in the hat and peered into it. Oliver never saw the physical "golden plates", he and the other witnesses were only spiritually shown them. I think it was with this that my world crumbled a little. Yes, I am weak according to many LDS people; my faith insufficient to comprehend this, too weak to have the faith to accept it. My question is, if this is how Joseph translated the plates than why not have the second illustration be the one found in the chapel libraries all over the world? Why isn't that the one we sing to during primary. Why change it?

Why has so much of the history be sanitized? The answer I received was that as a member of the church there would be many who would not have sufficient enough faith to withstand the "weirdness" of the restoration of the gospel. Weirdness? Please, you mean a man peering into a top hat isn't crazy to you too?

Then I dug deeper and out of respect for my family I will stop now. You don't get to have honest and open discussions about these difference in church because you are then labeled a heretic and God forbid you discuss it with you Bishop - he defaults to faith and prayer. You just can't get a straight answer on this... ever.

When did I know I was done. When the people got so mean it was unbearable and I could no longer swallow the belief that a man who could demand his follower's wife under the guise of inspiration could ever have been inspired to anything. Was he a good man, probably. But not to the point of equality to the Savior, hmnnn, I just can't see Jesus asking Peter, James and John to show their faith by giving them there wives.

Yes, I know, blasphemy here. Maybe I am pushing this all for the wrong reasons. All I ask for is honesty. It's ambiguous at best in the LDS faith. I guess this is my coming out, most believe I left because of a offense. Nope, it's much deeper than that. Much deeper.

Here is to going to hell, at least I will be surrounded by some pretty amazing people - opps, maybe not, I won't have inherited the BIG C so like most of the rest of the world, i won't get to be with my family. Gotta love a faith that makes God such a fair and loving man.

Please forgive me if I offended you, my apologies.