Transitions, change, life altering moments. For nearly 50 years I have seen and heard so many things that after a while you have to stop and think, is that it? Is that what I have known my whole life or is that what I believed? Can someone be considered a hypocrite because they have changed their minds, can they lose their credibility?
Here's what I am on about.
Polygamy. Growing up in the church it was the reality.We learned about it under the guise of "the new and everlasting covenant of marriage". For all the years I was growing up it was acknowledged that Brigham Y, and few other of the early leaders of the church practised it because it was a special and unique calling given to man under "special' circumstances. I WAS taught that Joseph Smith never practised it because Emma was opposed. I also learned that without this principle man could not inherit the highest degree of the celestial kingdom.
I believed it all.
Then reality came into play. In reading a book called "The Saints" by Orson Scott Card I was first introduced to the possibility that JS was much more involved then I had been taught. I let it go, even though OSC retrieved much of his research from journals of his own relatives I just let it go.Then came Rough Stone Rolling which confirmed more of the truth. It hasn't been until very recently that I have learned that even that book had to be sanitized and that the truth is much deeper and even more perverse than that.
It then struck me. To be Mormon you MUST believe in Polygamy. It is the REALITY of the faith. Many will say that the church no longer practises it but tell that to many woman like myself who are being forced to live it. How many women are there who would love to have their first temple marriages cancelled but the church won't allow it. Whether you want to believe it or not, polygamy is alive and well in the LDS faith, there is no denying it. Men can and still do have multiple temple sealing to many different woman and a woman can still only be sealed to one man, and to add to that, an abusive and terrible man proven to be horrible in so many ways can still have the power to influence the denial of the temple divorce by writing a 12 page letter FULL of lies. Really M, let me go.
If you are Mormon you must believe in the practise of polygamy because it is the one doctrine that JS brought forth and believed was very much a part of the "restored" gospel. Some think it was this very principle that was the nepotist of his demise as he destroyed the very press that was going to expose this truth.
I won't go into the details of how I feel about this (I am sure it has been implied though rather well) but this very blog post could result in a phone call from my Bishop. I gladly welcome it, maybe then we could have a further dialogue other then just no which seems to be the standard quo for woman like myself.
So here is the truth - If you are LDS then polygamy is a reality of your doctrines and your faith. Denying that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints no longer practises the principle is false. I certainly can prove that by accessing the membership records of my ex who currently is sealed to both myself and his new wife. Funny thing, there are so many more like myself.
If I sound angry it is because I am. On Friday, one of my co workers came into my office and asked the very question Mormons hate. Is it true, do Mormons practise Polygamy? I deferred to comment on the grounds that I would incriminate myself but here's a word up for all my family and friends. If you are asked that question by a Non member and you go to your default answer of "No" we stopped years ago, think about me, think about the disrespect of my leaders who have refused to allow my emotional closure.
Maybe my K2 is right, maybe I should just get to the point in my life when I call it all BS anyway so it doesn't matter, I have a hard time going there because then that would mean that I literally wasted the last nearly 50 years of my life following a faith that was not true.
Here's to getting to that point.
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