Giving Liberates the Soul

"I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver."
Maya Angelou:

So there is some wisdom that our mothers taught us by shear repetitive brow beating that once you were old enough to understand you knew that the words spoken were an important LIFE LESSON that they wanted you to know, to understand, to live by.

One of those lessons from my precious Mom was the knowledge that in life, there are two types of people; the “takers” and the “givers”. She expected us to fall in the latter of the two categories for a number of reasons.

From an early age, I knew this wisdom to be true. If I ever thought my mother was the greatest woman alive I have not spoken or written enough about the grandmother I had or the legacy of strong independent Scottish woman whose dedication to life and family was unprecedented. My great grandmother was a part of my life as well until I was 7 and I have vivid and happy memories of her influence as well.

What I always have known is that strength, especially the female variety is self driven and as a woman, I can do anything I put my mind to…. Anything! This is important as I address the givers and takers in life.

Living is complicated by the demands life has on each of us. How we are raised and how much we have can affect whether we become a “giver” or a “taker”. We can be raised to be ether as well by example or by purpose but in any case you are, in life, either one or the other. I was raised to be and was instilled with the greatest example of giving. Giving and sacrificing was the way of being a Patterson woman, even, to some extent, to our own peril.

So here’s what I am on about.

If at the end of the day we can say that we gave more than we took, we can call ourselves “givers”. I measure a day by this. For a time, I came out on the taker end and was so laden with guilt that it became overwhelming. A wise friend then gave me this poem.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.


Some people come into our life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

To the friends who have given and to the friends who have taken the balance it what brings me the emotional health I enjoy so much today. Life is always a two way street. I fully intend to be involved in the whole journey…. Both ways and in the enjoyment of everything there is to see and be involved in!

I have also learned that if someone does you the courtesy of sharing it is essential to listen and to understand why whatever higher power you believe in needed you to understand why that message was meant to be in your life at that time. There are no chance encounters just meetings that fate finally brought together.

My life is blessed, I know it, and I am grateful everyday for it!