Being Afraid

“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.”

~Bette Midler

I have had an interested few days. My asthma has kicked up in a way I haven't felt in a number of years. Walking, talking, my gosh even thinking is all buggered up because I can't just take a deep breath and just "breathe". It's been my release for these last few years.... just breathing and then thinking and now, even breathing hurts, go figure.

What am I on about?

I don't scare easy and now, as I am moving forward I am.... a bit.

There are always a ton of reasons to simply not do something. I can talk myself out of just about anything but I haven't and mostly don't. The word "can't" left my vocabulary a long time ago and now, it seems to be creeping back and I am a bit scared. Do I let it back in? Are there times when "can't" is the souls way of taking disappointment out of your life?

I am an advocate for change! You must never remain stagnant and untested. Life is meant to be grasped and enjoyed. Our new Prophet admonished us to "Have Joy In the Journey!" The world is changing and rethinking the meaning of Joy. It's not about the toys or the places or the things you have but about real joy. Contentment! What brings contentment into our lives?

I am learning to redefine the journey and to come to know who and what I want and need for my life. I am first, now, a mother who must meet the needs of the youngest while he sojourns through these last years before adulthood. He has witnessed disappointment and he needs to know that he is loved. That his concerns will be addressed. He will know that standing on his own is coming soon. He gets that. I am glad.

I have great kids, I can't complain. I just want happiness to be theirs, always. It is coming for them. I know. My happiness is waiting as well. Every day is one more day where happiness fills my cup past half full!

I am enjoying my journey! I get it! It is all about the unit we come to and the unit we reunite with. I love it!