"When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute - and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity. " ~Albert Einstein

I had a great life lesson today that I want to share. It's just when you think you have everything figured out and all those precious ducks lined up in a row that you just get to damn cocky. That's exactly what I did, and I broke all my own new rules.

K1 spoke to me about a letter that K2 received. K2 was hurt and felt the letter was a slight to her and wondered why she had been singled out. It was from M and it was a reimbursement, long overdue, and a question. In the question K2 felt slighted and hurt and wondered why she and not all the kids had been confronted.

The mommabear in me reacted and I even sat on it for some time. I then asked the K2 if it would be okay if I responded. She said yes because she wanted me to help her remove the burden of carrying the connection to M alone. She is the only one he communicates with. I then composed the real first communication I have had with him in over 6 months.

I let my own anger at his abandonment of the kids interfere with the message I needed to send and broke every rule I have put into place about writing and then waiting. The letter was short and curt and accusing but more than anything else it was clear. And now, all I can think is that because of perspective it will never be met with anything other than disdain and I have done no service to my beloved K2.

I will never understand why men think that when they get divorced they divorce the children too. It seems a universal truth though I have seen the odd man really make an effort to keep close to his children. This is clearly not the case here.

So what am I on about. Taking time, even if you think you have taken enough, to just sit back and ask, are my actions hurting or helping. I could have helped K2 is so many more appropriate ways but the anger of singularly raising these kids alone got the better of me.

Next time, I'll take my time.