"However much we guard ourselves against it,
we tend to shape ourselves in the image others have of us. It is not so much the example of others we imitate, as the reflection of ourselves in their eyes and the echo of ourselves in their words."

- Eric Hoffer

When I came across this quote, I stopped, and thought about it. I moved on and my mind kept coming back to it. This is a thinker and it made me wonder how much of who I am and was is a direct result of the reflection of myself with others?

The kicker here is that I am a very bad judge of perception. My self esteem is at an infancy of being positive and more often than not I read into people very differently than what is there. It is only within the last few years that I have been able to somewhat trust my judgement and so I ask; How much of who I think I am is off to what I really am and does this go against my new self admonition to care less about what people think and more about trusting my judgement?

So what am I on about?

Finding within yourself the ability to filter both the positive and negative and to know for yourself what is and isn't going to be good for you.

This means that even though I may think that someone has pronounced a judgement on me I need to find the ability within myself to filter it and bring to me the part of it that will allow me to grow to become a better person. This is a very daunting task.

I know this because as I analyze this stuff I am getting better. I know that the process is changing all the time and with each change comes a stronger ability to be whole and in the end, that is the ultimate goal.

The task is difficult because there are people who will give false readings. To find the truth in all the clouds of perceived friendships requires a keen and discerning mind. You must be able to trust and after everything I have been through trust is something that doesn't come easily. This is where the work lies. I find myself with a closed heart sometimes and with it I don't allow myself to grow.

I need to work on this. I need to learn to trust again. It is coming and no doubt I will be hurt again. This is life. Life is our classroom and I would rather find myself growing than remain stagnant and stale, stuck in the processes that simply doesn't work.

So here is to finding my true self in the reflections of others and to truly know of where I stand in this life I am living.