Each Morning

“To get up each morning

with the resolve to be happy

…is to set our own conditions

to the events of each day.

To do this is to condition circumstances

instead of being conditioned by them.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

WOW, I am so excited today. 1st - I get to watch baby M. Have I said how much I love being a Grandma. Mom used to say it was the greatest experience she had in her life and told me it is something you just feel deep inside you. She was so right. When I look into C and M's eyes it just seems like a fulfilling deep within my soul; like life's full purpose is being met and I have a chance to experience just the part of it that completes you. LOVE IT!

SO, as to my previous post I am starting a whole new chapter in my life and I am so excited. Change is constant and finding it as a blessing rather than a challenge has changed the very actions of my life. I had the weirdest dream last night all about starting my new job. In it, every conceivable mishap happened before I even got there. Two different shoes and socks, the C-train broken down and a building being moved so I couldn't get to work. You would think I would have woken up so distressed and yet I was almost laughing. It's funny how perspective can change so much in your live.

In the two weeks I was away I had a chance to think and feel deeply. I worked through the last of some outstanding issues and came to some conclusions necessary to move forward. I found myself feeling at peace and truly madly deeply happy. It's funny how you think you have the whole situation under control and then when you finally do you wonder how you even coped in the first place. I truly underestimated the influence the stress my job had on my life. So glad that chapter closed and a new one is starting.

So I did some thinking as well. First is to find the zen. K2 has influenced me here. She is avid in Yoga. I admire her so greatly in this regard. I have decided to pursue an interest in it and learn it. Now, chubby pumpkin bodies look rather ridiculous in large yoga classes so true to who I am, I got the book and DVD and I am going to master this at home first. Morning and Evening Yoga to start. Once I am confident I will branch out. SO EXCITED! I see Bali in my future. I tend to get a bit obsessed in my hobbies, i.e. quilting, scrap booking, photography! This should be fun.

I look forward to some serious decision making with regards to the church. I think the final chapter needs written. What that will be is still in the works. I found out the B had put us on the no contact list which explains why NO ONE has even contacted us in the last 1 1/2 years. I don't remember saying that specifically. I do remember saying that I was tired of HT's and VT's counting a visit when they would simply leave a message or bother to say hi in the hall way at church. I have some thoughts on this but my resolve here is to let it go. The LDS church and Mormonism is my past. It shaped me I am but it no longer defines me.

I want to continue to find the spiritual song within me. Using the word "find" may be a bit misleading. I have never felt more spiritual in my life. I think what I mean is that I want to continue in the journey of discovering the truths outside of the ones that have let me down. I am reading "The Book of Awakening" and loving it. I have slowed a bit in reading and now that so many changes have occurred for me, pursuing "Good Books" will be back into full swing again. So excited!

I am heading back to Auzzieland in the fall. I speak to K and C everyday I can and need to send an enormous amount of gratitude out to the universe for the modern technology that allows me to know C so well from Skype and Facetime. What did grandparents do before this. Thank you!!!!!

Well. M is complaining. Grandma needs to focus on being a Grandma. Did I say how much I love it!

Here to my new chapter!! I'll keep you informed.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,

but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” 

~  Thich Nhat Hanh