Dear John

"Bigotry and intolerance, silenced by argument, endeavors to silence by persecution, in old days by fire and sword, in modern days by the tongue."

~ Charles Simmons

Almost six years ago I came across a website that spoke to me. I relied heavily on the support this forum brought to me even though my contribution was minimal. What I found here was like-minded people who were honestly and realistically facing their doubts and finding faith. Though, in the end, my journey may have taken the other fork in the road, what the forum did offer was a realization that as much as those in my ward who couldn't and wouldn't offer kindness, instead leaving the rules of the LDS faith determining their opportunities to exact judgment, this group had little or no judgment in it. The kindest was a man named John Dehlin.

We had exchanged emails earlier on and the turmoil of my divorce made me realize that any decision I was making was being influenced by my emotions. I stepped back and worked through them. I joined the two sites in 2008 and lurked mostly and contributed infrequently. What I did get was the feeling of not being alone. I was active as long as I was because of John's wisdom and insight.

Unbenounced to me  John has left the church too. I just found out last week. How I came to the knowlege was that he had been called into his Bishop's office as had other's on the site to be questioned and warned of their involvement on it. Please know that STAY LDS's purpose is for member's to remain active, NOM is for the transitioning - at least that is my take on it. Reading that John and others were being called in stirred BIG emotions for me. John has Never pretended to be anything other than what he is. He has an incredible essay called "Why people leave the church" which I highly recommend, it is on the STAY LDS site.

It was suggested that those who were John's friends on facebook - where your real name is used - was the reference list for Bishop's to be calling people in. Well, I am very guarded on facebook and hadn't even known that John was on there. It took me 1 sec to think about it. If the church was using his friend list to purge people like him from the church I was, out of principle and responsibility, going to add my name to his list. Maybe then Pres. C might have a need to call me in and have a chat, it's not like anything else of value would have brought a conversation on.

I am now John D's friend. His Stake president did not excommunicate him but instead found he was a huge help for many. Thank goodness there are some great leaders out there. I am not embarrassed by my position in life or that I no longer believe. I defy anyone to have been on my journey and not find themselves where I am.

And as far as the inquisition on the "Middle Way Mormons"; think about Salem, Mass or Nazi Germany and ask yourself, is the church a place where those who may not share the same dedication as some who think all or nothing dedication is the only way a place they where Grey's can't be welcome in? It was for me, I stopped going. How many have to stop going before someone really just thinks about why they have stopped. My old bishop used to say, " we have to think abut fixing the leaks in the bucket and not just filling it with missionary work." I could add something here but won't.

So here is to John Dehlin, my new Facebook Friend whom I would gladly add again and again because some people just have a way of making a very difficult world at least have something good to talk about. Check out his Itunes Mormon Matter's Podcast site and then tell me he's Anti. He is nothing of the sort, just truthful which is a welcome shot of difference the church truly needs.