Serenity is Not Freedom

“Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm”

Something I have learned well in the last few years is the importance of peace in your very soul. At first, it just felt like chaos was living inside my head and then, as I took the time to really work on my thought processes, it became apparent that the chaos was mine to own and mine to settle.

Different methods worked, talking and talking and then talking more to professionals trained to help is a Godsend. I owe my life to a few amazing Dr.'s but good Dr.'s not only listen but then teach you the skills to hear your own soul as well. You know, like the teach a man to fish scenario is at play.

One of my coping skills is mountains. I think I have blogged about this a zillion times but I just keep coming back to how important these great edifices are. It's funny, I have felt God so much more there than anywhere else and by that I mean ANYWHERE ELSE.

I start feeling the release around Deadman Flats and by the Banff gates I know I start to think a bit clearer and my mind then processes the overwhelming nature of my insecurities that sometimes plague me.

I am also a bit obsessed with the beautiful images that can be had up there. I love my new hobby of photography and my goal is to just capture it all for my family so that they can know just how important these mountains are to me.

Saturday was an escape day. Too much and not enough processing was happening and my friend S was in a bad place too. I called and she answered and we went. Practise makes perfect in the hobby sense and while there I was able to capture exactly what it is that happens up there in them there hills.

I feel my Father in Heaven in so much of my life - I know there are some who would doubt that considering my activity level at church, (that whole monopoly issue comes into play) but communicating with him, even with my friend beside me, is easier in the mountains and the self talk of working through my issues flows with a simpler viscosity of thought and by the time my sojourn into those mountains is done and I am ready to take on a whole you day. Crazy eh?

Yesterday, Grandpa L came for Sunday dinner. We were talking about a photograph I had just given him and he asked where I had taken it. He laughed and said, in the 4 years of his Bachelor's degree he had worked at the very place I find zen and surveyed every mountain along that range. HELLO - that whole song thing comes into play. Maybe the reasons the mountains are such a respite for me is because they are very much a part of my internal song.

Well, THANKS poppa for giving me the gift of the mountains feeling like home.  I have an immense of gratitude to you for it.