Love and Other Such Things

So, there are so many aspects of this weekend and all the natural tragedies and disasters that have occured that have left me on edge. I mean, come on, growing up Mormon you learn of the doom and gloom BS and "end of world" commentary. Who wouldn't be frightened. I spent most of my teenage years in absolute fear but was always reassured that I indeed was a CHOSEN generation.

Tangent coming!

I am a BIG LOVE addict for so many reasons and saying it out loud would most certainly have me thrown out of any cultural LDS circles but since my absence from church has more than cemented that, I just want to put it out there. Tonight though, I am pissed. I mean MAD because of everything that BIG LOVE does say about Mormons from the fundamentalists to the average "run of the day" true believers, tonight the the writers of Big Love crossed my line. BIG TIME!

This season the writers are playing favorites. For the most part they have been balanced, it would be a stretch to say fair, but balanced and man, have they got the Mormon culture down but what they had missed was a representation of those Mormons that make the faith so amazing, the good ones. The ones that get it, that live it because it is them, deep in their spiritual roots and they get the Savior's role in the faith and finally, FINALLY, they had a character who was that, who symbolized that. You didn't see the character often but when he did speak, he spoke for whats right about being LDS. Like when Bill's business became the target of a Mormon boycott and he came forward and criticized it. Like when he spoke of choice and acknowledged that whether LDS people want to admit it or not, Polygamy is a part of that faith and history. And tonight, they killed him off and it just wasn't fair! He was just the security guard on the State Capital but what he represented was the best part of being LDS.

He was killed by the fundamentalist prophet, which was symbolism at it's best but now, who is going to balance this drama. Where is the voice of reason in a dramatic conflict that seems to be heading towards no reason. What are the writers saying here. Has anyone noticed the parallels in this that might or might not compare to the history of the LDS faith. Maybe it's the English major in me that wants and asks why in everything I read or watch. I personally feel ripped off if I read a book or see a movie that didn't have me learn something and today, I don't know, I am asking why louder than I ever have. I have watched this show from the beginning, I have seen where they have taken the main character and I have noticed why they have even gone there even though I don't agree with everything they have said and done but why not balance this? Why not give a reasonable voice?

I remember talking to my Bishop I while back and expressing just how difficult church was, how truly hard it was getting. He said I needed to be there, I needed to be the balance. It's funny how funny that sounds now, that a place that should be welcoming and a harbor for faith needs a balance.

So why am I pissed?

Because as much as I felt unwelcome there still are good people. In every part of life you can find good people. Look at Japan. I saw a commentary on how there wasn't any looting going on and that everyone was helping each other and that is GOODNESS. Sister P always reminds me of what the gospel is supposed to be about. There is good everywhere, some places have more of it then others but there is goodness.

I realized something too, goodness is within. You can't legislate it to those around you but you can be it. Being it and being it to everyone you love can make a difference and I think I forgot that in my own self pity. I need to remind myself of it again, find it again.

Note to self.