Parents

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.

~ Anne Frank

My life is changing so much with each new day and I am reminded that with each passing of the sun through the sky it is for the better. This was witnessed to me the other day in one of the most unusual ways.

A dear friend is struggling with a decision that has been made more challenging by her past issues. Her mother died when she was young and an absent and uncaring Father has obscured her decision making processes. For what would seem very easy for you and me to decide, she struggles with abandonment and loneliness. The fear of alone forces her to accept situations that neither you nor I would ever see as a possibility. It is painful to watch and draws gratitude to my heart that I had my Mom as long as I did.

We sat in my kitchen with K2 and then it happened. A different perspective that was unheard before. K2 has a firm grasp on boundaries and expectations and pronounced her wisdom on us.

"No woman need settle; a belief that you offer more than is offered will bring quality into your life".

Her advice was heart felt and profound and as I watched this beautiful daughter live her life I can see great strength in her path. She is still young and with maturity she may be able to understand the angst of a mid life single situation but the basics of her wisdom is applicable to any generation. It is in the settling that we find dissatisfaction. A settled life is a compromise for a comfortable life. If that is what you seek, then by all means; but for those of us who choose to fly, it is only other fliers that need apply.

Just after my divorce, fear was so real. The aloneness seemed to overwhelm me and I wasn’t thinking clearly. Dr. W asked me to not date or seek a companion for a year. I followed her advice with a few blips but for the most part, it wasn’t that difficult because of the circumstances I had found myself in for that year.

On the anniversary of a year since my divorce I reflected on the differences in the way I was feeling and acting then to now. I was astonished. If I had ignored her request I could have seriously just repeated the same mistakes that got me into this situation in the first place. Sometimes wisdom comes in a way so basic that we fail to see its vitality to the life we are in at the moment.

So what am I on about?

As I sat there and heard and watched my daughter I realized that all that I had left to give her was my example. She was now an adult. A great one at that and what she knew of dating was ten fold what I or my friend knew as we both had married so young. Her greatest advice was in the finding of our own self worth and in the exercising of its importance in our life. She may never fully comprehend how she knows or why she practices her guidelines for herself so well but when I thought about it, as warped as this may sound, my daughter truly knows of her infinite worth, probably better I.