An Abiding Faith

“Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.”
~ Thomas S. Monson

I have so many quotes by so many people on this blog and I thought that some might be thinking that I have no use for our own Prophets words or what they have to say. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. What I have done is begin to live the gospel very personally and without malice or demands to anyone around me, whether Mormon or not. I embrace great books and wonderful teachings that enhance me as a person and in the end, define myself as a humanist who happens to be Mormon. Many great and enduring principles of the Gospel reside within me and how I live them cannot be judged nor criticized by either that within the walls of the Chapel I attend or without.

When Thomas M first became the Prophet someone told me a story of just how real he is. The organization of the church seemed was so black and white, running like a well oiled impersonal machine. We seemed to have lost a bit of the human touch. I waited anxiously for the change in leadership to reflect in the wards and stakes.

Time as shown that the leadership of the church has reached down to the personal level and that more concern is being shown to the individuals and families as they attend church. The organizational attributes of the church are second to none and yet, with some, being that organized can lead to a lack of concern for people.

I was chatting with a friend and she told me that during a conversation with her Bishop he told her that if his wife came to him questioning her faith and belief he would immediately leave her and take the kids with him. That he married a strong LDS woman and by her actions she was proving her loss of strength. He didn’t have time for it and would not allow his children to be subjected to the questioning belief. I was shocked. This wasn’t a young man but someone who had been married enough years to have grown children who had chosen a life outside of our faith. My thoughts were; is this the kind of love the Savior asks of us.

In the world today so many members have questions that really, hardly anyone has answers for. We have to rely on faith and the support of those around us to help us through this. There will always be those whose testimonies are unwavering. In some cases they are so black and white that they judge harshly and our uncompromising in their acceptance of anyone who questions. We have quite a few in my ward like that.

I was sad for this Bishop, how he could he think to so easily discard his eternal companion without understanding or offering hope. How can we be so expecting of Christ like attitudes and so unwilling to reach out a hand in aid to those whose faith isn’t nearly as constant? Are we so afraid of the weaknesses of our own faith?

Case in point – a very unique blend of Mormon thinking.

Mormon parents, when their children seem to be making bad choices, lean towards finding others to blame for their children’s wayward ways, thus banning their children from contact with the friends they think are clearly influencing their child. I have been guilty of this. My Mom taught me a great lesson about this.

Our Stake president had deemed my daughter unworthy of his daughter’s friendship; we were not the first family to be given such and ostentatious title. The friendship was immediately brought to a halt and my daughter was somewhat “left out in the cold”. It was sad, as a family; we were facing so much and these two were very good friends. I felt that it had been due to the influence of another girl and was complaining to my Mom of the unfairness of it all; then came one of those famous FINGER POINTING moments that were definitive of my MOM.

“These girls are teenagers, nearly grown adults. They make their own decisions to their own behavior and your job as her parent is to make her responsible to her own mistakes. There will always be parents that will judge not only you but your children, correct what needs correcting but never let actions of one child fall on the blame of another, we each must own our own mistakes.”

It made sense. As much as I still detest the actions of Mormon parents in the banning of friendships, (this banning was a result of my daughter attending a movie, not even asking the Stake president’s daughter to come, that he felt highly inappropriate). My daughter’s actions could have predicted this outcome and by 16, she really did have the right to see a 14A show, even if I thought it might not be best and if the consequence was the losing of a good friend because of it.

The lesson I learned from this was two fold. One, we can’t control how other’s chose to live their lives or the expectations they have on their children. We can only have our own children try to live up to our expectations and the consequences of not doing so must always follow on the child who might not have met them.

So what am I on about?

If the Bishop has set his life up with such expectations that he would divorce his wife if she questioned her faith, which alone is his business that is his right. The consequences not only to his family but to himself would be felt entirely by them and my judging – totally wrong. As sad as I am that this kind of narrow mindedness exists, it does.

This then leads me to my point. Had I been that Bishop’s wife, I would have been turfed and yet, my testimony now is stronger than it has ever been, just different. President Monson's words about “an abiding faith” are so true and by having this kind of faith it can and does make sense out of nonsensical world. Thanks goodness those around me had patience and didn’t judge. I can’t even imagine where I would be otherwise.