"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."
- St. Francis de Sales
So, just another train of thought but what if life turns itself inside out so fast that you lose sight, just for a moment, of the things that matter most. I am such a wreck when I get sick,(see post to follow) and life crumbles around me. It's hard.
I know my heart though, I really think I do and it's time to restate all that makes my life right.
An AWESOME HUSBAND- I can't even begin to tell you how much more I am in love with him. He has been so good to me and when I stumbled these past few weeks he was there every step of the way being the strength I needed because I was to weak to find it in myself.
My KIDS - some know how important they are to me and some still question. There isn't a moment in my life where I am not absolutely filled with love for them, even when I seem to fail so miserably at knowing exactly what to do. I am trying to change things and I know that though they may not understand fully why now, my hope is that they will see the wisdom much like when Mom left me alone while I was emotionally suffering because she knew I had to find the strength in myself to stand up and face the dragons of my so called life back then.
My SISTER! I can't even begin to tell you just how much she means to me. God only gave me one and He saved all that was right with sisters and put it in her. She was gone for most of the summer and I ached to just sit through a lunch with her and discuss the universe.
My BIGGEST brother and his random calls, they always come right at the right time and he inadvertently dispels this wisdom that comes through his genetic soul, he doesn't know it, but he equally fills that Big Brother role to a Tee.
My DAD - he called last week right at the worst time of my illness. I answered the phone and just balled. In his more than ackward way he gave me assurance and listened where upon I promptly apologized because I know how embarrassed he is with the showing of emotion. He expressed great concern and then asked me to come to him and start living in Comox. His way of saying I Love You. Two days later I got a call from my Auntie J. She speaks his emotions, she speaks his concerns, she expressed his concern and love, she's his Aaron.
My Mom - who always lets me know she's with me right when I need her most. LOVE HER SO MUCH STILL.
My Friends - two in particular who crowded a bed for a girls sleep over and while watching old movies, and discussing crappy ex's and new love and hope for new love we laughed.
So as you can see, I am truly blessed. I know my blog can sound somewhat "cup half empty" but never be mistaken, my cup runneth over and I know just how lucky I am.
When I take all these things into consideration, I remember where my inner peace comes from. I am finding it again and guess what.... I can actually walk now without feeling like my kidneys are going to explode and I do it without the aid of opiates.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Inner peace is returning.
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