Those that hate goodness are sometimes nearer than those that know nothing at all about it and think they have it already. ~ C.S.Lewis
Silence on some issues has saved me. Some have asked why I am silent? I like honesty and people that have the (%^;*('s) to ask have gotten their answer and from what I have seen, understand. Many, however, have simply judged it. Here's the thing though, I can even understand that now. I should clarify here though, understanding some one's perspective does not mean I accept it. I just get that each of us has our own thinking and no one has a right to dictate what that should be.
So, what am I on about?
I never understood what a hate monger was until I met someone who truly defined it. In every word she spoke it was to the negative of another's value. She tore families apart and friendships asunder and if you fell in her path, your life experienced drastic consequences as one person was put against another and her words always the catalyst.
Thankfully, I haven't had to interact with this individual in a long time even though the effects of her words have manifested themselves in so much of my life. Time has healed some of the damage, thank goodness, but I have to ask, to what purpose is anyone served in the promoting of hate?
I guess my second question would be; to what purpose are the words we are using causing hate?
I HAVE BEEN QUILTY OF THIS, which made me think deeply about what I am going to write.
I have been asked numerous times to be a voice. A voice for single parenting in the church, a voice for ecclesiastical abuse, for spousal abuse, heck, for a number of things and I have frustrated many with the response I have always given which is universally no. There is still too much emotion to be valid in my opinions. Until the emotion is replaced with a semblance of control my words can and will be misconstrued. I can't and I won't go there. Will there ever be a moment when I can? That's the question isn't it? Until then I silently watch and feel the pain of others. It's all I can do until what I offer can have validity.
So, to get to the point.
I brought myself to watch the Saturday sessions of conference. Some ask why I do it and to tell you the truth, I am not quite sure why. Maybe a hope that things will be different or maybe something that might reach deep enough for me to trust a change, either way I watched and as I did, I heard with different ears. Not with blind obedience or hope but a reality that brings a whole new paradigm to believing.
It was hard, especially through a couple of the talks where, without the blinders of faith on, I heard, yes, I know this is going to offend some of you, "hate mongering". Without the absolute belief you hear the idioms of barbs and twists that give members permission to subtly bully those who have chosen a different path. If you wondered if Saturday's talks hit nerves just peruse through some of the sites and feel the pain.
I am all for uplifting and inspiring others but openly speaking against another's path and speaking it as evil makes me wonder why I even opened the door to watching conference in the first place. Hate the sin, not the sinner. For those who left the church because they looked on the Internet for it's history: to condemn them for opening the storm cellar door while the tornado is over head is minimizing the churches own role in hiding the history in the first place. The proverbial storm cellar was built by the endless correlated teaching these people received for years at the church's own hands. It was their weak storm cellar door that blew off and resulted in some members being sucked into the vortex of truth written by the very scholars the church employed. What else is to be expected when we are taught for years to value truth to only find out later the truth they meant was the one they predefined.
It took only minutes for my FB feed to be littered with the words of weakness and "giving up" and all the other quotes that pinpointed the sinner and not the sin. It was then when I realized what it meant to be an ex-mormon. To be on the other side of the fence and to be mocked or ridiculed by leaders purporting to be Christ's disciples.
I am guilty of posting comments meant to inflict thought but yesterday it was about hurt and pain. To Chris, whose pain reached to a depth neither you or I could understand as he was told his parenting should be undone because of his same sex attraction. Like his ex-wife didn't need any more ammunition. Chris is no less a great father being attracted to men or not. I could compare him to someone here but I really am trying to take another path. Chris is a loving, compassionate kind and good father who tries in every way to parent his children. The words of an apostle undid any strides he had made to becoming negligible in his own children's lives.
Being ex-mormon has had a number of consequences for me. I sit alone for our Canadian Thanksgiving today because of a family member who feels my path makes me unworthy of inclusion. I have lost an entire social life and am in the process of rebuilding it. It's ironic that the very one's so punished by the words of the leaders of the church are the ONLY ones who are accepting me now. I never knew until now just how many conditions to acceptance there were.
Hearing for the first time with the ears to hear just how exclusive the talks were was shocking to me and made me look to the Saviour's words in the New Testament. Christ really was about the sin and not the sinner. His words didn't have the same tone at all. Here is where I know without a doubt this is all my perspective.
When did the perspective change?
I guess maybe when I became the sinner in their eyes.
So, to get to the point.
I brought myself to watch the Saturday sessions of conference. Some ask why I do it and to tell you the truth, I am not quite sure why. Maybe a hope that things will be different or maybe something that might reach deep enough for me to trust a change, either way I watched and as I did, I heard with different ears. Not with blind obedience or hope but a reality that brings a whole new paradigm to believing.
It was hard, especially through a couple of the talks where, without the blinders of faith on, I heard, yes, I know this is going to offend some of you, "hate mongering". Without the absolute belief you hear the idioms of barbs and twists that give members permission to subtly bully those who have chosen a different path. If you wondered if Saturday's talks hit nerves just peruse through some of the sites and feel the pain.
I am all for uplifting and inspiring others but openly speaking against another's path and speaking it as evil makes me wonder why I even opened the door to watching conference in the first place. Hate the sin, not the sinner. For those who left the church because they looked on the Internet for it's history: to condemn them for opening the storm cellar door while the tornado is over head is minimizing the churches own role in hiding the history in the first place. The proverbial storm cellar was built by the endless correlated teaching these people received for years at the church's own hands. It was their weak storm cellar door that blew off and resulted in some members being sucked into the vortex of truth written by the very scholars the church employed. What else is to be expected when we are taught for years to value truth to only find out later the truth they meant was the one they predefined.
It took only minutes for my FB feed to be littered with the words of weakness and "giving up" and all the other quotes that pinpointed the sinner and not the sin. It was then when I realized what it meant to be an ex-mormon. To be on the other side of the fence and to be mocked or ridiculed by leaders purporting to be Christ's disciples.
I am guilty of posting comments meant to inflict thought but yesterday it was about hurt and pain. To Chris, whose pain reached to a depth neither you or I could understand as he was told his parenting should be undone because of his same sex attraction. Like his ex-wife didn't need any more ammunition. Chris is no less a great father being attracted to men or not. I could compare him to someone here but I really am trying to take another path. Chris is a loving, compassionate kind and good father who tries in every way to parent his children. The words of an apostle undid any strides he had made to becoming negligible in his own children's lives.
Being ex-mormon has had a number of consequences for me. I sit alone for our Canadian Thanksgiving today because of a family member who feels my path makes me unworthy of inclusion. I have lost an entire social life and am in the process of rebuilding it. It's ironic that the very one's so punished by the words of the leaders of the church are the ONLY ones who are accepting me now. I never knew until now just how many conditions to acceptance there were.
Hearing for the first time with the ears to hear just how exclusive the talks were was shocking to me and made me look to the Saviour's words in the New Testament. Christ really was about the sin and not the sinner. His words didn't have the same tone at all. Here is where I know without a doubt this is all my perspective.
When did the perspective change?
I guess maybe when I became the sinner in their eyes.
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