M - R - J Oct 14 - 2011

My BBG # 3 asked the other day why I hadn't blogged about this precious little guy. I had and have a dozen times and every time I think I have it right I reread it and it just isn't. I don't know how to pen the way I feel about this little man and about being there the very moment he look his first breath. How can I, it was, for me, the most live changing thing I have been through in such a very long time.

BBG, my Mom and I talked about those moments. We talked about what it was like for her as I struggled through each pregnancy and birth and how helpless she felt. How I felt that day, that night and that morning as I watched you struggle and suffer and realised the moment you loved in a way you had never felt before.
I can't describe how I felt as M slept on the couch and you rested as the Dr provided the needed relief. You were laying there and the monitor was going and M's heart beat was beating over and over and there I was about to see the little man who was changing all of our lives for the better. It was just about then that you woke in such agony and pain, your epidural had gone dry.  I went out and asked for help and everyone was busy attending another woman's moment and as I felt helpless I felt her, I felt her like when I was walking with little C and she guided me to know exactly what to do and exactly what to say.
Did you know she was there, holding his hand as he readied to meet you.
That's why I haven't been able to blog about it sweetie, because from that moment until about a hour after M joined us she was there, she knew I needed her and she knew you did too. It is a moment in my life that I will cherish.

I will forever remember the gift little M brought that day.

Time, time with my Mom.